It's Not Quite Simple
by WishfulSensation
Summary: Lily Evans hates James Potter. Sirius Black is determined to make Lily love James. So he starts a game of Truth or Dare between himself and Lily. LJ
1. Let the Games Begin

CHAPTER 1

_Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or anything in it. It all belongs to J.K. Rowling._

_Also I would like to say this is a Lily and James fan fiction, so please do not think by any means Sirius and her will end up in the end. I only have to start off the story with him because he is, of course, a main character._

"Look at him! He's so gorgeous," Jael squealed, gesturing to Sirius Black.

"He's Sirius Black Jael. He is a pompous idiot," I said rolling my eyes.

Sirius Black, the Gryffindor Sex God. Every girl wanted him even my best friend and I had absolutely no idea why. Sure he was good looking but his personality was disturbing in more than one way.

"Hey Lily, can I talk to you for a moment?" he walked over to us and ran his hand through his hair.

"What do you want Black?" I glared at him, while my best friend was batting her eyelashes flirtatiously.

"It's about James," he started hesitantly.

"Sirius, please tell him I will not go out with him," I said impatiently. It was the same everyday with James. He asked me out, and I rejected him.

"He doesn't even know I'm here," Sirius ran his hand through his hair again and I automatically rolled my eyes.

"Then _why_ are you here?" I asked.

"To talk to you Evans," he said like the reason was completely obvious.

"Yes I know, but why?" I said, frustration edging in my voice.

"I could tell you if Jael would leave for like five minutes," he smiled at her and she waved to me, even against my silent protests, and walked off.

I looked at Sirius and his eyes were shining with that particular mischief that annoyed me so much. I waited impatiently while he seemed to be thinking up a way to start.

"Lily, why won't you go out with James?" he asked his tone not the playful one I was used to.

"That Black, I thought would be obvious. First, he is so full of himself it's sickening. He is so arrogant and Quidditch obsessed and all in all a huge jerk," I didn't know where this conversation was going to.

"You have never had a normal conversation with him," Sirius protested.

"I wonder _who's_ fault that is," I said, frustration now completely showing.

" I know he annoys you Lily, he annoys me too. All I am saying is give him a chance he'll pull through for you. I promise," he was now as frustrated as me.

"Those are the probably the most sincere words that have ever come out of your mouth, too bad I don't believe them. Besides I do not by any means want James Potter," I said coldly before turning on my heel and getting ready to walk off.

"Not so fast Evans," he smirked and grabbed my arm.

" So if you don't want James, who do you fancy?" he smiled deviously.

"No one," I glared at him.

"Is it Remus?"

"No. I told you I don't like anyone."

"Peter?"

"Sirius!" I groaned glaring at him.

"Me?" I smirk played across his face.

"You know what I meant," I sighed.

I looked out the window and the weather was exactly like my mood. It was rainy and I could see flashes of lightening streaking through the sky. Sirius was definitely a mood dampener and I didn't need to listen to him interrogate me about who I liked. In fact, if he actually listened he'd know I really didn't like anyone.

"Lily come on, stop being so stubborn," he groaned, leaning forward and putting his hand on my shoulder. Some girls across the room sent jealous glares and I felt my anger rising.

"Evans, talk to James, have one decent conversation. Don't get mad just talk to him," he smiled and when I was about to protest, he interrupted "I _dare_ you."

_Sorry for making it so short, I can assure you the other chapters will be longer. I'm going out to Enchanted, so I needed to end it._


	2. So Awkward

CHAPTER 2

_Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or anything in it._

_Thanks for all of you who reviewed or added me to your favorites, it means a lot. I'm writing the second chapter now that I am home from the movie. I may start another story soon so updates will be as frequent as possible! _

"Sirius, you're kidding right?" I was almost smiling. What made him think I would do it just because he dared me, that's so childish.

"Evans are you afraid? It's just a little fun anyway you'd get to dare me next," he smiled knowing this offer tempted me.

"Well," I started knowing this probably was a very bad idea but having Sirius at my feet doing whatever I wanted was quite tempting.

"Yes?" he put on that charming smile to try and win but it was too late he'd already won.

"Alright Black, your on."

"Great, well I'll see you later,"he started to walk off but then he seemed to remember something. "Oh yeah, Lily?"

"Hmm?" I turned around a stupid grin playing across my face.

"We can't tell anyone were playing," he waved and walked to where Remus was waiting with a wondering look.

I turned and started to walk back to my dormitory. Sirius Black doing whatever I wanted. I could make his life hell, I started to ponder different dares when Jael walked in. Or I could help out a friend...

" Hey," Jael sat next to me on my bed obviously noticing my smile. "What's up?"

"Just finished talking to Sirius," I mumbled remembering I couldn't tell her anything.

"What happened?" she leaned looking almost... angry?

"We just talked," I didn't even notice how awkward that sounded.

"LILY EVANS, YOU SAID YES DIDN'T YOU?" she screamed so loud I toppled off the bed and onto the floor.

"Said yes to what?" I asked, seriously confused.

" How could you do it? You knew I liked him. YOU DON'T EVEN LIKE HIM!" she yelled.

I suddenly caught on and almost choked on the water I was sipping. "Sirius and me? No way Jael! Anyway you know I wouldn't do that to you. He told me I was making James miserable and it just made me happy," I said nervously.

"How come you're so mean to him. He is so in love with you, you're so meant to be!" she was smiling again.

I pretended to barf " No we really aren't, he is just so," I couldn't finish my sentence and she looked kind of taken aback by the distaste in my voice.

" So what? So perfect is what you were going to say, wasn't it?" she smiled and I rolled my eyes.

"No."

I remembered James would be arriving back from Quidditch practice anytime now. If I could only finish the dare and then it would be my turn. If Jael knew she'd be squealing right about now.

"Hey Jael, I need to catch up on my book. I'm going down to the common room," I smiled and picked up my book which I was not by any means intending to read.

I caught a glance of myself and the mirror and I couldn't believe myself when I reached up and fixed it. It annoyed me really, because it was James Potter and he was definitely not special.

I pranced into the common room and placed my book onto a table. I spotted James and Sirius on a coach together talking and laughing. James looked like an idiot, he was flailing his arms around and making a weird facial expression.

I walked up to them and took a seat next to James. "Hey guys," I caught Sirius' eye and he smiled.

"Do you mind if I steal him from you for a few moments," I glanced nervously and noticed many people staring back at me with strange expressions. I couldn't blame them though, normally I would not talk to James on my own free will.

Sirius stood up. "Go ahead, I have to meet Peter somewhere anyway."

Once Sirius was gone James turned to me. "I didn't do anything I swear! I was only trying to help! Professor Slughorn needed my assistance and I helped him," he began to ramble and I couldn't help but smirk.

"How was Quidditch practice?" I couldn't believe I had to ask that. I hated Quidditch and here I was asking about it. This wasn't fair and Sirius was going to pay.

"It was,um, fine," he looked utterly stunned.

"That's good, how about that Transfiguration test?" I had never really had a conversation with James and I didn't know where to start.

" It was really hard. I studied for like 10 minutes and I don't even think I passed. Hey Lils, why are you talking to me?"

"Do I need a reason to talk to you?" I glared despite my better judgment. That sentence killed me completely. I can't believe I said it, I most certainly didn't mean it.

"You want to talk to me? I knew some day you'd come around," his smile was so huge it almost made me feel bad for not wanting to be there.

"James you are really funny," my voice was starting to crack, I needed to yell at him or say something insulting. I didn't like being nice to him, it made me feel bad about how vulnerable he was.

"Well I need to go Lils, I have to meet Remus, Peter and Sirius at the Great Hall in 5 minutes" he smiled and waved before walking off .

I glanced after him before turning to head back to my dormitory with my book. He said I would actually enjoy this, that was possibly the worst conversation I have ever had.

When I reached my room I opened the door and found the Jael laying on her bed sobbing. I couldn't stand watching her cry. I hurried over to bed and sat next to her and asked what was wrong.

"Sirius Black, thats what," she wailed burying her head in her pillow.

"What did he do to you?" I stood up in rage.

"I asked him to Hogsmede," she sniffed.

"Yes?"

"He said he would never go out with me and he listed everything that was wrong with me," she was crying even more now that she was thinking about it.

"What did he say?"

"He said my hair had to be blonder and a bit shorter, he said I need more makeup and my outfits were too preppy for his tastes," she screeched and flailed her hands around. "I don't know what to do Lils."

"Forget him, that's what" I yelled.

If only he had remembered the fact that it was _my_ turn to dare him.

_I really hoped you liked it. After I write a chapter/story I usually have writers block so this chapter I kind of had to push this chapter along. Reviews would positively amazing!_


	3. That Felt So Good

CHAPTER 3

_Disclaimer: If only Harry Potter belonged to me... but it doesn't, it belongs to the envy of everyone J.K. Rowling. _

_I have to start my homework in 20 minutes, though I shall promise you all to pretend this is homework and not show my mom the screen of my laptop. Reviews would be amazing! Special thanks to my best friend Jessica for giving me the perfect dare! You really are amazing!_

I sat down at my Potions desk five minutes before class started and was absolutely surprised to see Sirius inside along with Snape to which Sirius was mercilessly teasing.

"Hey Evans," he sat down next to me and I glared at him not daring to speak for it may contain some words a respectable teenager would not use.

"Evans?" he waved his hand in my face.

I leaned over and took out my potions book, a quill and some parchment. When I looked up he was still sitting there staring at me with surprise. No doubt it was only because a girl had never ignored him before.

"Lily I believe I am talking to you," he growled looking ready to murder.

"Sirius, would you kindly keep any part of your body off my desk," he looked revolted at the fake sweetness dripping from my voice.

"I, uh, what's your problem?" he smirked and immaturely rubbed his hands all over my desk.

I didn't even know where it came from but I felt pure rage. He had made me be nice to the one person I loathed and broke my best friends heart and probably many other's too. I stood up from behind my desk and walked around to face him.

WHAM!

He stumbled backwards due to the blow. I couldn't believe myself, I had just punched Sirius Black in the face and I had definitely enjoyed it.

"HOLY SHIT EVANS," and as if my luck couldn't be better Professor Slughorn walked into the room right as the words spilled from his mouth.

"Boy, those words are definitely not tolerated at this school," Professor Slughorn's voice boomed from across the room. "Detention will set you right." 

"She punched me sir," he glared at me

He dismissed the last comment as if it had not been said at all. Only Jael seemed to know it was true because her faced was mixed with shock and pleasure. She caught my eye and gave me a thumbs up.

It was then I realized, with great surprise, her hair was blond. I then looked a little closer and realized she was wearing make up. I cried out causing everyone to turn and look at me. Jael noticed my intense stare and squirmed in her seat.

_What did you do to yourself?!?!?! _ I scribbled onto a paper and when the teacher wasn't looking sent it flying across the class to where she sat.

_It wasn't anything major. Just a few adjustments that's all. Besides I think it is a way better look for me don't you? _The crumpled note revealed those words when I opened it up.

I was so shocked I didn't even realize that I had cried out in front of the class for a second time and once again everyone was looking at me.

"Is everything all right Ms.Evans?" Professor Slughorn asked me and I nodded in reply before he turned back to the lesson.

I noticed James staring at Jael too. Though, his wasn't a look of concern and it sickened me to see him looking at her that way. It was pretty hard to ignore when he was sitting right next to me so I kicked him in the shin and he spun around fast. When he caught my eye he grinned.

"She looks really good," he smiled at me.

"Shut up James," I glared at him and threw another disapproving glance at Jael.

"Are you jealous Lily?"

"No James. I just think boys should grow up a bit and look for something more serious not just girls who are easy on the eyes."

"Are you asking me out?" James grinned and I felt like killing him.

"No James I was not. Did anywhere in that sentence mention I wanted to ask you out? No I did not say that," I grimaced at the thought of going out with James Potter.

_It was for Sirius wasn't it? Jael get a hold of your self. He is one guy, he is not worth it. You look like __**Regina Taylor**_I wrote Regina Taylor in bold letters just to symbolize the fact that really wasn't good.

Regina! A dare flew into my head and it was brilliant! Regina Taylor was the most out of league girl in our year, no school. She was gorgeous with blond hair down to her shoulders and sapphire colored eyes. She was the only one who thought Sirius Black was hideous and completely tiresome to be around.

As expected Jael sent a note flying towards me moments later and I opened it and began to read. _Lily Evans how dare you say something like that to me! Okay I guess you're sort of right but I was aiming for her kind of look. Sirius just made a few helpful suggestions and I found them rather helpful._

_IT IS SIRIUS BLACK WHO GAVE THEM JAEL!_ I scribbled back and once again sent it flying to her.

I realized I had not taken any notes by the end of class and was quite troubled because at the end of this year I had OWLS and I needed as many notes as possible. I slipped my paper back into my bag and ran towards Transfiguration which was going to start in 15 minutes.

The dare was on mind and I realized I quite wanted to find Sirius Black and give him his dare and possibly another blow to the head. As if by chance he came flying down the hall calling for James to wait up and I smiled deviously. I would definitely have my chance to tell him in Transfiguration and it was all a matter of containing my joy at how unbelievably funny it was going to be watching Sirius Black be utterly humiliated.

_I don't really like the way this one came out but please review and tell me what you think of it so far! Now sadly I must do the homework I have been so tirelessly procrastinating to do. Life really isn't fair sometimes._


	4. New Priorities

CHAPTER 4 

_Disclaimer: I only wish I owned Harry Potter._

_So this is the 4__th__ chapter and I am really proud of myself for following through with a story. It's all for you guys, without your reviews I might have stopped. But you guys have been absolutely wonderful. Most people want longer chapters so I am writing this over a span of 2 days as to not write it all at once and also to write longer chapters. _

"Lily, I am not asking _Regina Taylor_ out!" Sirius whined but there was no way I was going to back down.

"I do not care if you are humiliated when she rejects you. In fact that is my intention," I smiled at him and he groaned.

"What's wrong with Sirius?" James walked up to me and I was startled.

"He is complaining because I am making him... do his homework for once," I had almost forgotten I wasn't aloud to say anything.

"Lils isn't it his choice whether he does his homework?" James asked, curious at why Sirius was actually listening to me.

"James! You and he should be preparing for OWLS at the end of the year," I said sternly.

"Yes I know, but we've only just started school," James said reasonably obviously only trying to get on my good side.

"Well she said she's going to help me with my homework, so I am not too worried mate," Sirius winked at me and I glared. I didn't possibly want to hang out with him if I didn't have to.

"Like a study date?" James asked his voice was light but he was glaring at Sirius for all he was worth.

"Not exactly like a date."

"Well Lily, can you help me with my homework?" James smiled at me.

"James you do almost as well as me without even doing work," I was almost laughing at his pathetic attempt to get me to go on a date with him.

"I'm finding this year a bit more challenging though," he was not one to loose confidence.

"Like you said James, we've only just started school," I was not about to give in either.

"I haven't been able to keep up much lately," his voice sounded almost like a kid begging for a new toy.

"You've never been able to keep up anyway, what's the problem now? Anyway Sirius don't forget what I told you," I put up one hand up resembling a wave and walked from the common room leaving James and Sirius staring blankly contemplating what I had just said.

I decided a walk would do me good, so I pulled on my coat and opened the door and walked out feeling the cold rush of air hit my face. It sent my hair whipping around and I remembered James always said my hair was beautiful. I dismissed the thought immediately and decided I would go to the Quidditch pitch.

When I reached it I realized with distaste why I never really liked it in the first place. I took a seat in the bleachers and observed a group of second year girls flirting with what looked like a miniature Sirius Black and I smiled to myself. They had no idea what they were doing to themselves.

I never really took much time to think about why guys were girls' only obsessions these days along with make up, shopping and gossiping. I never liked to take part in the discussions because I never really had a boy on my mind to talk about. It made me feel kind of lonely seeing girls and boys holding hands or snogging in the hall way.

I pulled back my hair with a hair elastic that had been on my wrist. I overlooked the Quidditch pitch and my eyes once again landed on the group of second years and the one guy who in time would break many hearts at Hogwarts. What surprised me though was he was smiling kindly at them but showed no signs of flirting. His smile kind of reminded me of a similar smile I had seen too much at Hogwarts since I was a kid.

I got up off the bleachers and walked towards the lake with my hands stuffed in my pockets for warmth. I reached it and thought of the early summer before we went home and how we always went for a dip.

I never got to think much so I think my mind was just thinking of all the things that would not normally cross my mind. In reality I didn't care whether I was going to be dateless for the rest of my life and I most certainly did not care of the compliments James Potter carelessly threw my way.

I slipped off my shoes and socks and dipped my feet into the lake and enjoyed to the cold sensation that was tingling all over my body now. I shivered and smiled remembering the time Jael had dragged me into the lake one bloody cold winter in our third year. I laughed at the memory of her running out of the lake yelling "THAT LAKE IS BLOODY FREEZING" and "MY ARSE FROZE RIGHT OFF."

Many people thought I never had any fun. They thought that I only spent my time reading and studying. They, however, had never seen me with Jael. I will admit I am definitely not a dare devil but we have done some pretty risky things.

Jael had once ushered me into Forbidden Forest and we had gotten chased out be centaurs, yelling to keep off their property. I had cried for hours after but when I was through me and Jael had a good laugh. James had walked up to us and surprised me so much I had flung my arms out and whacked him the side of the head causing him to cry out in pain. I had not bothered to apologize since he had sincerely deserved the blow.

Now that I look back, James always had found a way to make my good days a little darker. It was not like he tried he was just naturally annoying which constantly sent me over the edge. He would show up every half an hour and ask if I would accompany him to Hogsmede and I would roll my eyes and throw my insults as to make him leave, which he normally did. He always left with that stupid grin that made every other girl swoon but me gag.

I was constantly told I was different or abnormal for not finding guys interesting or "gorgeous" but it didn't matter because when you're in love you let your guard down. I have seen so many cases in which girls let their guard down and their hearts are broken just like that by some foolish guy who decided he was going to take advantage of her but then realized she was not worth the trouble he was going through just to get her off of him. I would not become like that, for I am Lily Evans and Lily Evans is strong and amazingly sensible.

Realizing I had been outside for almost 2 hours I started back up the castle. After my thinking time I felt I was quite at peace. I must have done something wrong for I was quickly snapped back. There was Sirius Black snogging my best friend. I was about to send Sirius to "a better place" when Jael looked up and saw me. She shivered involuntarily and waved cheerfully only hoping that she would be able to avoid my wrath.

"What the bloody hell is going on here?" I screeched.

"Were snogging if you don't mind," Sirius stated rudely.

"Oh I most certainly do mind," I cried out looking at Jael for any sign of an explanation.

"Sirius just asked me if I fancied a walk, so I took a walk," her eyes were screaming its _Sirius Black_, Lily!

"It looked more like you fancied a snogging session," I sneered refraining myself from taking Sirius by the neck and strangling him senseless.

"Lily it's not like it means anything," Sirius laughed at the very thought of actually hooking up with a girl because of a snogging session.

It's no doubt Jael was hurt by those words and I couldn't help but think she had gotten herself into it. I waved at her before turning but not before catching a glance of Sirius grabbing her waste and pulling her in.

Oh I couldn't wait until I saw him get horribly rejected for he deserved it even more than James Potter, and that alone means a lot coming from me. Screwing with my best friend didn't go over to well with me. Normally I would shrug it off; it's just a snogging session anyway. Oh no, Jael was constantly smitten by some guy or another. She never actually had gotten past a snogging session before getting terribly dumped and it was me who was always stuck picking up the pieces. She didn't deserve to be treated the way she was but she kept going in for more and it bothered me more than I could express.

When I reached the common room I pulled out a Muggle book my mom had recently sent to me, Pride and Prejudice written by an incredible author Jane Austin. My peace was once again disturbed though by James Potter who sat next to me and started humming.

"What do you want Potter?"

"I was just wondering how you're doing?"

"I was doing fine a moment ago" I glared and he laughed.

"Lily you never cease to amaze me," he smirked and I was truly confused.

"It is only a matter of time before you realize we are indeed perfect for each other."

"James if you are done looking at the list of things that will _never_ happen, you may feel free to leave," I looked outside a nearby window and thought for a moment just a moment I saw Sirius and Jael snogging but decided even if I had I wasn't sure I wanted to look again.

"Oh Lily, I never noticed how your eyes shine so brilliantly in the light," he smiled pleasantly and continued to observe my eyes.

"Touching Potter, now you may go start your poetry career and I will stay here reading my book," I waved at him but he didn't budge.

"Just say I wrote you a poem, would you love me then?"

"No."

"What if I bought you a zillion pairs of shoes?"

"James shoes mean nothing to me."

"What if I sent you a billion roses and serenaded you singing your favorite song?"

"James I can swear if you ever sang to me I would die before I agreed to accompany you _anywhere_," I glared at him.

"I like it when you say my name Lily," he smiled. "You have a beautiful voice and when you say my name, no even when you yell it, it makes my stomach flutter."

I was taken aback by the comment. He liked it when I said his name? Why? I always either yelled or used it to express my hatred. It was usually followed by an insult that would send most guys hightailing it out of there but not James. James wasn't normal as I had already established.

"Touching, now can you just bug someone else?" I glared and looked helplessly at the book perched on the coach arm.

"Lily I am not trying to bug you, I hope you know that. I just want you to realize that my feelings are _real_ though you say I just want the challenge."

"James it's unhealthy to love someone more than your parents, you know that right?" I rolled my eyes because he would always be pathetic to me.

"I realized that years ago Lily, but there is something in you that is like a drug. I need it. I crave it. Talking to you satisfies the need but then when you're gone I crave you. I need to hear you, even if it means yelling insults at me."

"Potter I'm advising you to stop the "craving" because it will never be fully satisfied you should know that."

I couldn't believe what he had just said to me. He had called me a drug and meant it as a compliment. He drastically needs to check his priorities because they are quite unrealistic.

_2,000 words my amazing readers, 2,000 words! In one night as well, I said at the beginning I was doing it in two. I don't know but once I started I couldn't stop I needed to keep going! Please review and make my heart lift 10 times as much as it already has. You guys truly mean the world to me._


	5. Ruining Lifes

CHAPTER 5

_Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or anything in it._

_I am really sorry it took this long to write a new chapter, it was the end of the term and I had basketball 4 nights a week! Enjoy the long anticipated chapter!_

I knew this was coming, Sirius Black at least needed to try to squirm his way out of doing the dare. It was noon and I had been doing some studying for the Potions test the next day when he approached me.

"Hey Lils," he sat down next to me and looked at the textbook.

"Hello," I rolled my eyes and turned back to my book.

"Studying I see, because that is the amazing student you are," he smiled widely and game me the thumbs up.

"Bug off Sirius, I am not and will never let you squirm out of the dare," I didn't even look up because if I did I knew I would see his weak attempt at puppy dog eyes.

"Lily," he whined. "If I do this my whole reputation will be ruined."

"So?" I looked up for the first time and saw he was now pouting silently.

"Well I thought that would be obvious, I am _Sirius Black_," he said in the stuck up tone that drove me over the edge.

"Sirius Black the Teenage Jackass, I can see it now," I smirked and he pretended to be upset.

"Oh well now that we're making up stage names, Lily Evans the Almighty Smartass," he glared down at his feet.

"Black this is not helping your case. Now what I say is get your butt up there and ask Regina Taylor out or would you rather me call her over," I cleared my throat and he quickly interrupted.

"No I will but I won't be happy about it," he trudged toward the coach where Regina and her best friend Jasmine were sitting.

I stared after him and a grin played across my lips. It was then Jael sat next to me that I got a bad feeling. I wanted very bad to hurt Sirius but not Jael. I knew that Jael would hear the rumors but that was what she would think they were. Now if she saw it for herself things could get bad.

My thoughts were interrupted by a shrill laughter and I turned to see Regina and Sirius glaring at each other. 

"Black wants to go out with me?" Regina laughed even harder and it was then I dared to look over at Jael.

"Lily did you hear that. Sirius asked out Regina. How could he? I thought... he said...," she stuttered before getting up to leave and by the look on Sirius' face he knew I had truly messed things up for him.

"Black did you honestly think you stood a chance with _me_?"

I heard him mutter something before regaining his confidence. Sirius Black did not like looking bad.

"What did you say?" Regina smiled cruelly down at him.

"I said, why not?" Sirius looked about ready to murder but he was not going to loose the dare.

"Well first of all you prance around the school while all the girls swoon over you, but what do they see in you? I personally see nothing attractive in your appearance or your personality," she said her words seemed to match the evil look on her face.

"Do I really?" he laughed but she interrupted.

"Next is the fact that you hang out with James Potter, the biggest git of all time," she smiled in the direction of the Quidditch field where James and the Gryffindor team were practicing. "Last but certainly not least I would never dream of dating a guy who told a girl they had something between them and then asked me out the next day. Oh you all know Jael right? I mean obviously you never really cared. So Sirius Black the answer to your question is hell no would I ever dream of dating a git like you."

I noticed Sirius whip his head around the common room and his eyes landed on Jael who was running out of the common room at top speed. He flung himself after her calling her name and that was when Regina sat back down on the couch seemingly shrugging the whole incident off.

I tried to do the same and just shrug it all off but I knew I couldn't do it. A nagging feeling kept rising in the pit of my stomach and I felt like I was going to be sick. I thought ruining Sirius would be fun but not if it meant ruining my best friend as well. I was stuck between the choice of turning and going up to the dormitory or running after the two and my heart told me to go with the second.

So I stood up and ran after them thinking where Jael went when she was upset and I remembered she would often go to the Quidditch pitch behind the bleachers. I only remembered this because of second year when her crush, what's-his-face, rejected her.

I heard familiar voices and I knew right away they belonged to the two I was looking for.

"Sirius honestly if you really liked me like you said you did, why would you ask her out?" Jael said unusually calm.

"That I can't tell you," he sighed noticing me from the corner of his eye but not making it known.

"Well then we have nothing to discuss," she said turning to leave but he grabbed her arm.

"Wait Jael," Sirius pleaded and Jael rolled her eyes.

"Oh please Sirius don't make this dramatic," she said turning to leave and this time was successful.

She bumped into me and for the first time realized I was there. She smiled a forced smile and being her best friend I knew she was waiting to get to the dormitory and cry her eyes out. I had known only too well that when being rejected she didn't take it very well.

"Hi Lily, I'll see you later," she walked past me.

"Of course," I called after her and she turned around once and waved.

As soon as she was out of sight Sirius turned to me, "Thanks a lot Lily."

"Oh come on Sirius it's not like you actually cared about her," I sighed knowing deep down he actually might care about her a little bit.

"How do you know? Honestly Lily, just because you are good in school when it comes to guys you know nothing."

"Sorry unlike most girls you'll meet I don't spend all my time analyzing the way boys think and act. Sirius, by no means do I think you don't like her because you are a _guy_. I have seen and heard about how you are with girls and I am glad she got out before she got seriously hurt," I glared at him and any sympathy for Sirius was definitely all gone.

"Well maybe they just weren't the right ones for me," he tried to sound convincing but failing miserably.

"Oh yeah because you can really tell if a girl's right for you after you get in bed with her," I rolled my eyes because this conversation really was starting to get on my nerves.

"Remember Lilykins, it's my turn next," was the last thing he said before walking away and honestly I didn't care what he had in store for me because I had no guy to loose and no crush to humiliate myself with, so I was doing more than okay.

The wind was howling and I started to shiver when I felt a jacket go over my shoulders and I welcomed it happily before realizing it belonged to none other than the one guy I least wanted to see.

"Honestly James I don't need your stuff," I said and took off his jacket and attempted to give it back but he simply wouldn't take it.

"You seemed to need it until you found out it was mine," James pouted and I was honestly at the end of my rope.

"Exactly, if it belongs to _you_ I simply don't want it nor do I need it," I tried again and he took it before flinging back over my shoulders.

"I would keep it Lily because I need to talk to you," he sighed and I gave up and put my arms through the sleeves, wincing the whole time. 

"What?"

"Well I wanted to talk to you about earlier," he said sitting on the bleachers and absent mindedly I followed and sat beside him.

"You mean earlier as in when Sirius asked Regina out?" I asked trying to keep the sadness from my voice at how I had hurt my best friend.

"Yes that is exactly what I mean. Now being Sirius' best friend I know that he liked Jael a lot."

My stomach felt awful at that point and I held it in attempt to keep the vomit or tears from coming.

"He did not like Regina Taylor; in fact he always hated her. Now I know he would not willingly ask her out that is why I am asking you. Did you force Sirius to ask her out?"

"James I could not possibly force Sirius to do anything," I silently applauded how calm I was staying right now when I should be freaking out.

"Lily you have your ways of making anyone do anything," he smiled and I didn't want to know the thoughts running through his head right now.

"James I do not care about Sirius' personal life, therefore I do not try and change it. If he asked out Regina Taylor that is completely his fault not mine," I glared at him and his smile vanished because he knew only too well I didn't like being interrogated.

"Lily just yesterday night he confessed how much he liked Jael. Why would he possibly ask the girl he hates out the next day?"

"Isn't that something you should be asking him not me?"

"He won't tell me Lily! He said it was just a stupid moment and if he could take it back he would," James' voice was so serious it kind of scared me.

"Well then isn't that the answer? James right when I think you couldn't get any stupider you find a new way to amaze me," I was itching to go see how Jael was holding up but apparently that just wouldn't do.

"He was lying; he had that look on his face," James scrunched up his nose trying to think of the look on his face.

"Well then why are you asking me James? Your best friend does something stupid and immediately I get blamed. Well now that you have finished interrogating me I think I will leave. Honestly James," I cried out, taking off the jacket and shoving it into his arms before turning to leave. He called my name and I stopped.

"Lily, that really wasn't what I meant. I just wanted to know if you knew anything about it," he knew I was mad at him either way.

"I don't see you questioning any other Gryffindor students," I turned and I officially was mad at him.

It didn't change much though because I didn't talk to him if I could help it anyway. I stormed up to my dormitory where I heard muffled sobs and I opened the door to find Jael sitting on her bed crying.

"Lily I can't believe he asked her out! He told me he wanted to accompany me to Hogsmede some time and I had agreed. Lily I agreed to go out with him! I can't possible go now though, knowing the whole time Regina would be the one he wished was with him," she said through sobs.

"Jael he honestly isn't worth the tears! I have been trying to tell you that for months now. He is Sirius Black, Sirius freaking Black. He is a pig Jael," I comforted her or at least tried.

"He was going to be _my_ Sirius Black though!"

I tried to rephrase that sentence to find a better way she could have said that and I came up with many. That sounded like he was a possession she had won and it sounded oddly disturbing.

"Do you want to get something to eat?" I smiled down at her but she looked back at me utterly revolted.

"Lily I can't leave this room, not after what happened! My face cannot be seen by anyone especially not Sirius Black," she wailed.

"Do you want me to bring you up something?" I stood up and turned to her.

She nodded silently and I hugged her before heading down to the Great Hall, hoping I would bump into a certain someone along the way.

_So yes everyone Lily is mad at James but please do not hate me. This is a Lily and James fan fiction, it will not be permanent. So I hope you all enjoyed this chapter and the next one will be out a lot sooner than this one. A zillion apologies for making you wait a long time!_


	6. Change of Heart

CHAPTER 6

_Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter._

_I started writing this as soon as possible as to get it out for you guys. I felt very badly about taking so long to write. Also I am proud to say the dares will be more frequent and outrageous. Also from the rest of this story on I want to say that my best friend Jessy either made up or helped make up the dares. Enjoy!_

I, Lily Evans, was now the hunted. It started the day I went down to the Great Hall and talked to Sirius about Jael. Girls were now starting to notice that Sirius and I were now talking constantly. They had come to the conclusion Sirius and I had chemistry and in their eyes chemistry is not allowed on their supposed "property". So in the past few days I had gotten hit with 4 different hexes and a variety of names.

I was sitting on an armchair wallowing in self pity when Sirius Black walked up to me and I looked around the common room to find all eyes on me.

"So you have heard the rumors too?" Sirius sat down the on one of the arms and I eyed his every move.

"Yes I have and I am not pleased in the slightest," I kept a constant eye on his movements as to make sure he did not get too close for any of the girls' liking.

"Well if they only knew my mind was set on one girl alone," he cast a look at Jael who was talking to Regina on a coach in front of the fire place.

Jael was now taking a liking to Regina for rejecting Sirius and sticking up for her. They would often sit in the common room and talk or sit in our dormitory and just enjoy each others company. All the stuff Jael and me used to do.

"You miss her too?" I let my cold voice drop by accident because I was deep in thought.

"Yeah well I know why I would, but why do you?"

"Regina and her have become good friend since that incident," I frowned at the smirk that was now playing across his face.

"So the dare backfired, did it? Oh yeah I can't forget that is exactly why I am here in the first place. I have your dare Lily," his voice dropped a bit at the last part to make sure no one heard.

"My life can't possibly get any worse so please end the waiting and tell me," I glared at him and he quickly returned the favor.

"Lily I dare you to steal James' boxers," he was apparently holding in the laughter because at that point he was laughing so hard he was holding his sides.

"What in Merlin did you just say to me?" I screeched and the girls around the common room whipped around to face me.

"I dared you to steal James' boxers. More specifically his ones with the golden snitches sewed into them. So my plan is his Quidditch practice ends at 7 tonight and at exactly that time I want you to sneak into our dormitory and take them. You will have five and a half minutes to get in and get out without being caught," he smirked down at me and I resisted the urge to wipe that smirk off his face with another blow to the face.

"Sirius Black you can't possibly be in your right mind. I mean that is totally stupid and an invasion of James' personal property."

"It is personal all right," Sirius snorted before cracking up all over again.

"All right Black I'll do it but I have been thinking what the stakes are for this little game we have going," I got to send the smirk this time.

"What are you saying Evans?"

"I am saying that one of us could easily back out of the dare, couldn't we? We need something bad for the person that first refuses to do their dare to do," I was quite enjoying the fact he looked completely dumbfounded at the moment.

"Lily Evans you are brilliant! I should have thought of that, so what shall we do to you when you chicken out of your dare?"

"Black honestly, don't ruin the fact that I am allowing myself to have a conversation with you without going ballistic."

"Well how about the person who chickens out has to run around the school completely naked yelling they are in love with Severus Snape," he laughed at his own idea and I rolled my eyes.

"Sirius you are crazy, no one would ever do that!" I laughed despite myself and he looked like he had just seen Severus naked.

"You just laughed at my joke!" Sirius cried out a stupid grin plastered on his face and glared at him.

"I laughed because it was funny. Normal people do that you know," I was mentally killing myself for laughing.

Everyone especially Sirius Black knew I hated him but now I felt different. I would never admit this out loud but I was getting kind of used to Sirius. I would not call him a friend but more along the lines of an acquaintance. He was barely tolerable all the same.

"Normal people laugh, but Lily Evans is far from normal!" Sirius cried out making me jump farther into the chair. "Admit it Lily, you don't hate me anymore."

"Sirius I can't stand you," I jumped out of the chair in all my exasperation.

"Yes but you don't hate me," he smiled teasingly and I threw my hands into the air and glared down at him.

"Sirius Black I don't like you in the slightest. In fact I am starting to dislike you more than James and that alone is saying a ton!"

"All right Lils, whatever you say," he stood to leave but turned to me once more. "Don't forget to do your dare and I will know it has been done when I see the boxers in your hands."

"Alright Black I will have them in my hands by the end of those five minutes and you can be guaranteed of that," I turned on my heel and walked over to Jael and Regina, subconsciously noticing that it was 5:45.

"Hey guys," I took a seat beside Jael and Regina and they both started to giggle like crazy and I stared between the two of them, confused.

"What is so funny?"

"Just something Jael said," Regina stood up and made a heart with her hands and showed it to Jael who immediately did the same. "See you at Hogsmede tomorrow," Regina called to Jael before leaving the common room.

"We haven't hung out in a while," I smiled warmly at her and for once in my life I didn't try to act cold. She was my best friend and she deserved more.

"Yeah I know Regina and I have been having a blast," she smiled down at her feet for some reason trying to avoid my curious gaze.

"That's good but I miss you maybe we should hang out soon," I said this strange awkwardness was hanging over both of us.

"Yeah we should. Lily I have been meaning to talk to you about you and Sirius," she shifted uncomfortably in her seat.

"What about Sirius?" I ask bewildered at what this was leading to.

"Is there anything _there?_" She frowned slightly, still staring intently at her feet.

"Jael as your best friend I can assure you that Sirius Black and I have nothing going on between us, not in the slightest."

She let out a high pitched squeal and I covered my ears and jumped off the coach.

"What in the world was that for?" I glared down at her and quickly checked the time to see it was 6:30 and I gulped remembering the challenge I was soon to face.

"Your cold voice is gone. I thought it was impossible but Lily you dropped your cold voice!"

I shrugged slightly and gave her a small smile "So?"

For the next 20 minutes she ranted about how amazing it was that I was dropping my cold voice and I actually looked happy for once in my life. Why wouldn't I be? Sirius Black ended up not being as bad as I thought he was and James Potter was avoiding me. Only I didn't like James Potter ignoring me. I didn't even know why I just didn't like him walking by me without paying any attention to the fact I was there.

"Jael I have something important I need to do at seven so I really need to go but I promise I will see you later," I leaned in and hugged her before turning on my heel to find Sirius Black.

He was walking into the common room as I frantically kept my eye on the clock feeling completely panicked and disoriented. I scrambled up to him and looked pleadingly into his eyes begging for some kind of help but he merely smiled and gave me the thumbs up.

At seven he gave me a little shove and I raced up into his dormitory with the most awful feeling of being close to vomiting. I was lucky to find that none of the inhabitants were in the dormitory when I entered because I would have had one of hell of a time explaining why I had run in.

I realized I didn't know which one was James' and I frantically ran to one of the four dressers in the room and threw it open. It had neatly folded dress robes in it and I realized I was looking in Remus' dresser. I closed it just as quickly as I had opened it and ran to the next and was relieved to see James' school robes messily thrown into the drawer. I opened the up his top drawer and began frantically searching for the boxers.

I looked up at the clock and with a lurch realized it had already been two minutes with no luck. I threw the many pairs of boxers out of the drawer in my haste to find the ones with the golden snitch. I cried out in frustration when I realized they were in fact not in there.

I saw a laundry basket in the corner beside the door and I dumped it onto the floor and hastily threw the four boys' clothes around the room when I found what I needed. The golden snitch boxers laid crumpled up on the floor and I groaned with displeasure at having to pick up his dirty boxers.

I stuffed them in my pocket and was about to open the door when it opened itself and James Potter walked through the door and looked at me as though I was absurd.

"Lily?" James looked around the room at the clothes strewn recklessly on the floor.

"James," I coughed and picked up a Potions textbook that was on a night stand. "Found it! I told Remus I would grab him his textbook for him because he had stuff to do."

"Remus is already studying for potions with his own textbook. That one happens to belong to me," he snatched the book from my hands and I inwardly groaned.

"That is weird, he told me to. Oh well I guess he picked it up without telling me. Well I will see you later, I must go now," I forced a smile and headed out the door when he called my name.

"What?"

"Lily, are you still mad about earlier?" James Potter was actually nervous as he asked this.

"Mad? Oh yes! Well I don't know James," I stuttered and I realized I sounded like a down right fool. "Well James you definitely deserve it."

I turned on my heel and walked out and I felt guilty about being rude. Wait! Did I just say I felt bad for being rude to James Potter, the one man who most definitely deserved it? Lily Evans get a grip, he is James Potter he deserved whatever I said to make him feel bad.

In all my thoughts I didn't realize I was now face to face with Sirius Black. I bumped into him and whipped my head up.

"Did you get them?" Sirius was sporting a huge grin.

"Yes in fact I did," I pulled them out and handed them to him.

I walked away with a smirk on my face and a good feeling because it was my turn to dare and I was going to give him nothing better than what he had given me.

_Bad Meghan! Bad, bad, bad! I feel totally awful for my lack of writing lately I mean I promised a faster chapter and I didn't even give it. I have been so incredibly busy and very grumpy too. I haven't been able to write therefore making me grumpy and making everyone in my life miserable. I have been working so hard writing paragraphs here and there but never being able to complete it. Trust me when I say I am going to try my __**ABSOLUTE**__ hardest to write as frequent as possible._


	7. Author Note

**Author Note**

_Dear Faithful Readers, _

_I love you all and would like to apologize for the very seldom updates. I had so much to do with school because it was the last school week and I wrote the first chapter to Whatever Granger Wants. I am officially off for 2 weeks so I have all the time in the world. I am hoping to write 5 or 6 chapters for you guys. I had the 7__th__ chapter started on my laptop but I had to give it in and besides I didn't like the way Lily was portrayed the way I wrote it. I feel so bad for not writing for you guys because before I was doing so well with them. I was trying to write yesterday but I had such a huge broken heart I was almost crying. _

_Xoxo,_

_Meghan_


	8. Sweet Sixteen

CHAPTER 7

_Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or I would have made an 8__th__ book instead of writing on Fan Fiction. (No offence intended)_

_So my totally amazing readers, you have no idea how much your reviews to my note meant to me. I do still have a broken heart but I am on my way to recovering so I decided I would right the long anticipated chapter._

"Happy Birthday Lils," Jael screeched throwing her hands around my neck and pulling me into a hug.

"Thanks Jael," I smiled and the thought finally reached me, sixteen at last.

"Here," she handed me a beautifully wrapped present and I looked at in awe.

"The present is better than the wrapping, so open it," she urged and I carefully took off the ribbon and started to unwrap it.

I opened a box and lying inside was the most amazing white dress I had ever seen. It was simple and strapless with a big, black belt. I held it up to myself in front of the mirror and squealed with delight. It went perfectly with my hair.

"I knew you would like it," she smiled and helped me do up the zipper.

She sat me down and used her wand to put my hair into loose ringlets. Even though I greatly protested she kneeled in front of me and took out her makeup bad and started to apply everything she could get her hands on. When she finally pulled back and squealed at the progress I stood up and looked in the mirror.

I didn't even look like myself anymore, and even though I would never say this out loud, I was so glad Regina taught Jael how to put on make-up. The dress fit perfectly and I smiled at my reflection.

"I love you Jael," I breathed, as she grabbed my hand and started to drag me down the stairs.

When we were finished descending the stairs I gasped at the next surprise that was waiting to make my day. Everyone in the Gryffindor house was in the common room cheering and I looked around to realize it was a party. The house was decorated with balloons and streamers in Gryffindor colors. A banner was draped across the room and it read, Happy Birthday Lily.

I felt tears sting my eyes, who had done this all for me?

"Did you do this for me?" I asked her as she wiped tears from cheeks.

"Don't cry Lils, and no he did," she pointed to the Gryffindor with messy black hair and glasses.

"James did this all for me?" I asked and Jael nodded her head, grinning.

I could see James making his way over to me and a nervous feeling settled over me and turned to run when Jael caught my arm.

"Lily nervous because of James Potter, I never thought I'd see the day," she smiled and I was about to defend myself when she sighed.

"Lils I didn't mean it like that, don't go defensive," she shoved me a little and I nervously made my way to where James had stopped.

"Hey Lils! Happy birthday," he pulled me into a hug and I realized that he smelled really good and I did something I never thought I would do, I hugged him back.

He pulled away slowly, shocked. I nodded my head and smiled.

"Yes, James Potter I hugged you. Please don't take it the wrong way," I didn't like James and I didn't want him to start telling people I had feelings for him.

"You did this all for me?" I looked at my feet not daring to look up.

He grabbed my chin and forced me to look at him.

"There is no one in the world that deserves all this more than you," he leaned forward and I knew what he had in mind.

I was frozen; James Potter was going to kiss me. I stood there until his mouth was millimeters from mine before jerking away from him.

"James, didn't you hear me? I don't like you like that!" I screeched causing the whole common room to look our way.

I turned and my feet were about ready to run a marathon if I need them to when James grabbed my arm.

"Lily don't run from me, you have done that too much to me in the 5 years I've known you," he started gently pulling me through the door of the common room until we were standing in the long corridor.

"Lily, in the 5 years I have known you all you have done is run from me. Have you ever even tried to talk to me, besides when you were obviously out of your mind?" I was about to reply when he silenced me.

"Lily Evans, I love you. What way can I possibly express so you'll believe me?"

"James you are fifteen, how can you possibly know you love someone?" I asked him and he was ready to reply the moment the words left my mouth.

"You are different from any other girl I have ever met. You do not fall all over me when I walk by or show up to my Quidditch games to cheer me on," I grinned despite the frustration flowing through my body.

"So you love me because I hate you?" I laughed and he cracked a grin.

"You don't hate me," he seemed pretty sure of himself but he didn't realize that I truly hated him more than anyone in the world.

"Oh yes I do, and don't let anyone or anything tell you different," he sighed but still with a smiled.

"You'll realize someday that you are madly in love with me," he smiled and I snorted.

"You'll have better luck with getting Remus to go out with you," I informed him and he scrunched his nose.

"Remus is not gay," he seemed to be picturing it because his face was suddenly looking disgusted.

"That is exactly my point," I grinned and he groaned.

"We are all making speeches to you in about 20 minutes so I want to practice mine," he waved and left towards the common room.

I waved to him and leaned against a wall. I wondered what he was going to say, would it be romantic? I hoped not.

A brilliant idea popped into my head and I laughed at the thought of the awful dare Sirius was about to do in only 20 minutes.

I walked into the common room and after waving off people coming to wish me a happy birthday I reached Sirius Black. I grabbed his arm and pulled him to the side. He grinned and wished me a happy birthday and said I looked gorgeous. I ignored him and whispered really low so only he could hear.

"I have your dare," I grinned at him and he looked anxious.

"Since we are all so fond of boxers, I dare you to go up wearing only that when it is your turn to do the speech. I also expect a very heartfelt speech about how much I mean to you," I waved to him and walked off before he even had a chance to protest.

I spent the next fifteen minutes with Jael and Regina eating chips and talking about nothing in particular when James shushed everyone and told them it was time for speeches and anyone who had prepared one was able to come up whenever.

I was touched by all the people taking out paper and I looked around and saw a nervous looking Sirius untying his robes. I had to force myself to hold back the laughter at how unforgettable this was going to be.

Most people just thanked me for helping them with homework or giving them good advice but it still meant more to me than words could express. Finally the moment I had been waiting for came along and it went perfectly.

Sirius stepped up to the front wearing boxers with brooms imprinted on them and I doubled over with laughter. The common room all erupted in laughter and many pulled out their cameras making sure he would never live this down. The person who was laughing the loudest and taking the most pictures was none other than, Regina Taylor.

"That's a good look for Sirius. The stupid look suits you," she called and the crowd laughed louder but none knew the best was about to come.

"Lily Evans, my best friend. The reason I get out of bed in morning is all for you. To see your gorgeous face and hear your amazing laugh, make my day. You mean the world to me, Lily Evans."

I was literally on the ground by then, holding my sides in an attempt to breathe.

"Lily Evans I am going to murder you," he mouthed and I nodded my head and kept on laughing.

_Sorry this chapter is short, but my mom says I have to take a break and wrap some Christmas presents. Hurray! I'll write quickly and try and forget about this stupid broken heart._


	9. Severus Snape

CHAPTER 8

_Disclaimer: I wish I owned Harry Potter but that is only a wish._

_I can honestly promise faster updates and stick with it now because I got my laptop back! I write most of my chapters on here so in winter I had to give it in to my school but I got it back today!_

The party was still going full swing and I hadn't even opened my presents yet. A fully clothed Sirius Black sat beside me with James pacing in front of us.

"What was that?" James cried out, speaking for the first time.

"It was a joke, James. Aren't I allowed to joke with Lily?" Sirius grinned at me and I pretended to be intent with staring at my interesting feet.

Sirius just didn't realize how close James was to finding out about our little game. If he did all hell would break loose. James wasn't sworn not to tell anyone and if he did the first person would be Jael. Jael is the last person I would like to know that it was my fault her and Sirius didn't work out.

"You call that a joke?" James was glaring down on our innocent forms venomously.

"Lils was laughing," Sirius pointed out and that drove James over the edge.

"She's only laughing because you and her have this crazy love affair going on or something," James was upset but he seemed to like to get that off his chest.

"WHAT?" Sirius and I jumped to our feet at the same time and James jumped back slightly surprised.

"Sirius what is up with you lately? I mean you used to jump from girl to girl but you swore you'd stop because you were becoming well known in a not so great way. First Jael, then Regina, and now my Lily," James ignored our last question.

"Excuse me? I didn't know I was your property," I rolled my eyes and looked him in the eyes.

He had nice eyes, they were a nice hazel color and they we practically always dancing because he was always happy. Sometimes, like now, they would be big and hurt.

"You know what I mean," he dismissed the comment and carried on.

"You guys have been acting outrageous. Lily doesn't seem like the type to talk to me willingly or get anything for anyone which doesn't explain the scattered clothes," James stated and by the end Sirius and I were laughing.

I couldn't help it! I mean those, though I hate to admit, were some of the funniest moments of my life and I was sure Sirius was thinking the same thing.

"James I may not be nice to you a lot of the time but it doesn't mean I don't treat other people nicely," I stiffed a giggle and tried to put on my legendary stern face but that only made Sirius and I laugh harder.

It was weird that Sirius had finally looked past my hard exterior and noticed that it was more like a wall then anything. He knew I was scared to let people in and still he had worked his way past it one brick at a time before I let him and rebuilt the wall.

Most people have some dramatic experience in which they built their very first wall but not me. I had only heard of the things people did to people who let their guard down and I was not going to be like them. I was much happier with my wall nice and high so no one could even look at the real me cowering behind it.

"Lily, why are you and Sirius friends in only a matter of months when I have worked hard for five years to even get a hello from you?" James inquired looking up at me.

I could have been truthful but it was much easier with a "he doesn't ask me out incessantly," and that is exactly what I said.

"I can't help being in love with you Lily," he said miserably and I could tell that he really couldn't because if he could have quit me he would have definitely by now.

"You can choose the words that come out of your mouth instead of blurting off stupid things that make you look like a toe rag," I said as reasonably I could and he looked me straight in the eye and I squirmed a bit in my seat.

"I'm sure Lily would give you another chance if you asked her politely. I can almost be positive," Sirius told James and I wasn't stupid.

That was a cruel dare and James would obviously jump at the chance and poor Lily has to be the one who accepts.

James brightened at this statement and with a new found confidence he looked at me.

"Lily would you please go to Hogsmede with me?" James smiled and I was almost guaranteed that even if I wasn't being forced I would have said yes because he was looking so happy at even the possibility of going out with me.

"Sure when?" I said fast to get it over with and make sure no smart remarks came out instead.

"OH MY GOD YOU'LL ACTUALLY GO OUT WITH ME?" James shouted joyfully causing everyone in the common room to look.

I sunk further into my chair and hopped no one realized it was me he was talking to but before Jael had the chance to run over to squeal and hug me I grabbed Sirius' and dragged him out of the common room.

"That was the most unoriginal dare I have ever heard done before," I rolled my eyes and he grinned wickedly.

"That wasn't my dare to you Lily. I was merely trying to get you to be nice to him. This is my dare," he pulled out a box and handed it to me and I looked nervously at the lid.

I opened the lid and whipped my head up to glare at him. It was a very short black dress and it looked like it would be rather tight on me. Also folded in the box were black fishnet stockings and stiletto heels.

"You can't expect me to where this!" I yelped and my eyes pleaded for him to change his mind but Sirius was a man of his word.

"Oh my dear Lily, I do," he smirked and told me to get changed and meet him in the common room.

I pushed past him and stormed up to my dormitory to change out of the pretty dress and into a dress that made me look like a girl on a not so appropriate mission.

When I opened the door I was glad to see that neither Jael nor Regina was in my room to shriek and ask for the dress. I changed quickly and slipped quietly down the stairs and into the common room.

Then came the wolf whistles and the rude comments. I felt my eyes start to burn and that was when Sirius walked up.

"Damn Evans, that dress looks good," his voice rang through my ears reminding me of the guy I had hated for so long.

There was now a crowd of guys around me and the tears were threatening to fall. They had no idea I had not dressed in this on purpose.

"Lily!" James was pushing through the crowd of guys and when he reached he took a firm grip on my hand and pulled me through.

I thought he would let go but he had no intention of doing any such thing; he kept pulling me until we reached the door to Hogwarts and he pushed it open and the cold rush of air hit both of us.

The tears started to pour and it was not only the humiliation but the fact I was standing in front of the guy who had annoyed me for so long wearing the most revealing dress I'd ever seen but he looked at me with compassion not judgment.

"Lils don't cry," he pulled me into a hug and I didn't hug back but he didn't mind he just patted my back and told me to calm down and that everything was going to be alright.

We started to walk towards the lake when he asked me why I was wearing such a revealing dress. I wanted to tell him the truth but I wasn't going to be the one running around naked yelling about my love for Severus Snape.

Severus Snape, he was an amazing guy if you got past the greasy exteriors which most were incapable of doing. We had been friends a while ago when we were children but he once insulted my sister and I refused to speak to him again. It was a pretty silly thing really but I was trying so hard to gain her approval.

"I thought it would look pretty I didn't think everyone would pay attention to it," I sobbed but it felt weird to open up to him.

I felt even more mortified when I realized was crying like a child in front of him over a small thing like getting attention from guys. So I wiped the tears, with much difficulty, and looked at him.

"About the date?" I inquired trying to get the attention off just me.

"Tomorrow? I know it is rushed but it would be perfect to do it on the last day of the weekend instead of waiting another week," he smiled and I could see he was trying hard not to appear too eager.

"Sounds good but James please don't think this makes us officially a couple but I have decided to give you a chance," I was such a liar. An awful, cruel liar. The only reason I was even doing this was because I was to chicken to back out now that I found out it wasn't even a dare.

"No Lily, I won't. I know you much, much better than that," his hand seemed to be searching for something so I put my hand across my chest pretending I was protecting myself from the cold.

I felt uncomfortable standing in front of the lake on a freezing night with his hand still trying to find mine. I was letting my guard down and he could tell. First the almost kiss and then he was trying to hold my hands.

"What exactly are we going to do?" I asked softly more just looking for something to say then actually wondering.

"Why don't we go to The Three Broomsticks for something to drink and then we could do whatever you like," I wasn't looking at him but I could tell he was smiling.

"That sounds good but I think we should head back before Sirius wonders what happened to his company," I laughed and he leaned forward.

Oh god, James please not twice in one night. I was scared that he might capture my lips with his and I would like it. More specifically I would like him and I wouldn't let that happen, I wouldn't let him come out the winner. People used to bet on which of us would cave first and I would always think, "please god don't let it me be me."

"There you go," he pushed a strand of hair from in front of my eyes and laughed like he could tell that my thoughts were in overdrive.

I didn't respond and we silently walked back to the common room where all attention was back on me and I saw James look nervously at me like he thought I might start to bawl but I stepped confidently back into the room and Jael ran up to me.

"Lily, for Merlin sakes, when were you going to tell me you were going on a date with James Potter?" Jael cried and threw her arms around me and I nervously looked down at my dress half expecting my cleavage to spill out but to my relief it stayed put.

"It was only twenty minutes ago Jael," I smiled and that was when I noticed Sirius making his way over and it was replaced with a frown.

"Excuse me Jael," he nudged her and when she moved to see who it was he grabbed my arm and dragged me to a part of the common room where no one was.

"Lils I am so sorry," he cried out and some people sitting on the couches nearby turned to look.

When I didn't respond he carried on, "I couldn't help myself, you looked real good and it slipped out. Lily Evans you damn well better forgive me!" Sirius tried to lighten the mood but I could tell he was sincerely sorry.

"It's alright Sirius really!" I smiled at him and he pulled me into a quick hug.

"Now I think I am going to take a walk alright?" I asked and he nodded before heading towards James and I followed but kept going until I reached the common room door.

I pushed it open and started down the stairs toward the library, and since it was only around five it would still be open. I bumped into Mary MacDonald along the way and she had wished me a happy birthday before handing me a small package and heading toward the common room.

I opened it as I walked and pulled out a small silver bracelet and was shocked at how expensive it looked. I put it on my wrist and it looked amazing and then I noticed the note.

_Dear Lily,_

_I remember you used to have a bracelet just like this when we were little but I was also there the day it was unfortunately stomped on by your sister. I remember you told me your father gave it to you on your seventh birthday and you never went anywhere without it on, you claimed it was your good luck charm. So happy birthday Lily and have a good time turning sixteen._

_From,_

_Severus_

I had stopped to read it and realized that the package was definitely not from Mary. I was so shocked that after all this time he would still buy me a present, let alone an expensive one that reminded us both of a time when our differences didn't separate us.

I was in a sort of a daze when I entered the library and walked through the many books occasionally picking one up to read the back. I took a seat without even looking to see who else was sitting there. However when the person coughed I looked up to see who it belonged to and then I noticed sitting in front of me was Severus Snape.

I felt a surge of emotions when I saw him and I wanted to throw my arms around him at the same time I wanted to throw the bracelet and tell him I didn't need it.

"Um, hey Lily," he said awkwardly looking at the wrist with the bracelet on it.

"Thanks for the present but you didn't need to get something so expensive; actually you didn't need to get me anything at all," I smiled and it seemed to make him smile as well.

"I wanted to," he smiled sheepishly.

"Thank you Severus," I walked around the table and threw my arms around his chest and squeezed.

"Why did you come down here? I could hear the music from the Gryffindor tower all the way down here," he pulled out the seat next to him and we sat so we were facing each other.

The next couple hours were spent hidden among the shelves catching up and I couldn't remember being so happy in such a long time. He was still as much fun to talk to as he used to be and like me he missed when we were kids. I hated the other kids for excluding him from everything because he was such a lonely guy and he deserved much more respect then what he got.

At around seven he stood up off the ground, where we had moved after about a half an hour after we started talking, and stuck out his hand to help me up.

"I think you should get back to the common room Lily and enjoy the end of your party," he leaned forward and pulled me into a hug.

I stood on my toes and kissed him on the cheek which made him turn light pink before practically skipping out of the library.

Severus was right except that even after all those hours the party was still going strong and someone had brought out a snitch that was now whizzing around the common room and some people were trying to catch it every time it flew by.

"Where have you been?" Jael inquired, sounding suspiciously like my mom.

"With Severus, we had an amazing time and not in the way you think. We talked for the whole two hours I was gone and it was when he noticed the time he sent me back up to enjoy the party. Look at the bracelet he bought me," I held up the wrist with the bracelet on it and her mouth literally dropped.

"He bought that for you? He is such a keeper," she shrieked and by that time James was curious what she was making such a big deal over and wondered to where we stood.

"Who in the world bought you that?" James asked sounding slightly jealous.

"Severus! Would you believe that? I thought he was just a human grease machine but I just found out he was a rich human grease machine!" Jael cried out and I was shocked at what she has just said.

"Jael that sounded so rude!" I cried out and shrugged indifferently.

"Snape bought you that? Good thing mine is twice as expensive as his," James spoke rudely and pulled a beautifully wrapped present from under his robes.

I unwrapped it carefully and was careful not rip the letter inside. I unfolded the letter quickly and started to read.

_Dear Lily Flower,_

_I saw this and thought of you and how much you mean to me. It took me so long to find the perfect present but when I did it was just so perfect and I knew you would love it. Happy Birthday Lils! I would normally right of my love for you but I want you to keep this so I decided against it._

_Love,_

_James Potter_

I opened the box and gasped at the present inside and nearly fell over.

_Wow my very first cliff hanger! I am also proud to say that I wrote over 3,100 words just for you. I felt awful for how long it took to come out so I wrote an extra long one. So next chapter is the date and I am so excited to write it! I hope you guys don't hate me. Also now every chapter I will be writing a question for you to answer. This chapter's will be to help me out but most will be for fun._

_**What is the most outrageous thing you have ever been dared to do?**_

_If I use your dare of course I will give you credit and it will be used in one of the upcoming chapters._

_One last thing please, please don't think anything romantic is going to happen with Sirius or Severus. _


	10. The Date

CHAPTER 9

_Disclaimer: None of this belongs to me except of course the plot._

_First off I would like to say the dare idea in this chapter was from the brilliant user James' Lily Flower. __**Also if anyone is interested in being my beta, please contact me.**_

"JAMES POTTER!" I shouted, pulling a red thong from the box.

Beside me James snorted and broke into hysterical laughter. I glared over at him and tossed the thong towards Jael and set down the box.

"Lils I have a reputation to uphold," his eyes were watering with the look of pure disgust on my face.

"What as a perverted toe rag?" I glared down at my feet.

This was so not funny in the slightest; so why were Jael and James cracking up? I mean really, right when you start to like a guy. Wait! Those words did not just run through my mind. I meant that I was starting to like James as a friend and not the way you were thinking, that's ridiculous.

"Hey! There is more in the box," James noticed I had placed the box down on the table so I didn't have to look at it any further.

"I am not so sure I want to know what kind of other stuff you have hidden in that box of horrors," I glanced down at the box and made a face.

"Don't worry Lils I didn't put my boxers in there," I nervously thought back to the golden snitch boxers and my stomach did a little turn.

"Oh alright," I picked up the box and gasped again but not like last time.

Inside the box lay a rose but the rose was preserved in a layer of 24 carrot gold. I had once seen one a bit like it on a Muggle website. My mom was always shopping on Muggle websites for jewelry and other expensive items. Wrapped around the rose was a beautiful silver necklace with a gold lily symbolizing my name. He was right this must have cost a fortune.

"James I can't accept this," I put the gifts back in the box and shoved it towards him.

"What do you mean you can't accept this? I bought this for you!" James shoved the box back at me and I took it absent mindedly.

I couldn't explain the small blush creeping up on my cheeks and truth be told I didn't want to find out. It was a nice gesture but nothing that should get my heart beating like it was.

"James... I am serious I really can't accept this. You spent way too much on this," I stuttered and he laughed.

"Lily Evans I bought you an expensive gift and you won't even take it? What am I supposed to do bring it back?" he asked, flailing his arms for dramatic effect.

"Sure if you want to," I said dismissively and Jael rolled her eyes.

"Lils take the damn present," she cried and I quietly took the box and glared down at my feet.

"Thank you so much James," I looked into his beautiful hazel and smiled.

"No problem, I was thinking I should have spent more," he said looking rather upset.

"No James, this is enough," I laughed and Jael grabbed my arm and with one last goodbye she dragged me up to our dorms.

"Lily can I tell you something," she said quietly and I smiled and nodded my head.

"Regina likes James," she blurted and I turned to look at her startled.

"I thought she was too good for any guy," I said calmly trying hard not to show the panic building up inside me. If she liked James she would definitely get him not that it mattered much to me but poor James.

"I thought so too but she told me he is exactly the kind of guy she wants," Jael looked anywhere but me like this news was supposed to break my heart.

"Well she picked a bad time to start liking him because I am going on a date with him which will make him more in love with me than ever," I said defensively and Jael caught on pretty fast.

"Lily you like him," she laughed and I frowned and shook my head.

"I don't like him Jael. Regina can have him if she really wants him but I can say for sure he will be a tough person to persuade," I said and both Jael and I laughed.

"Lily loves James," Jael shouted gleefully and I turned a deep shade of red.

"No I don't! Please not so loud," I hissed and she clapped her hands together.

With one last grin in my direction she turned and headed out the door leaving me in the dorm completely lost in my thoughts.

Instead of going back down to the party I laid down on the bed and quickly fell into a deep sleep.

"LILY," Jael shouted.

"What?" I asked groggily and rolled off my bed landing on my arse.

"Its noon, get up!" Jael cried grabbing my hand and pulling me up from my comfy spot on the ground.

"Merlin, did I really sleep in that late?" I wondered as Jael made her way to my closet and started to flip through my clothes.

"Yes you did. That's a nice shirt but too casual. James came by earlier. Oh these are amazing jeans," she rumbled finally pulling a pair of dark blue jeans from my closet.

"Wait, James came by?" I asked turning my full attention to her.

"Yes he did," replied Regina, who I hadn't even noticed had been there the whole time.

She was the person I least wanted to see on the day of my date with James, the boy she supposedly liked. Anger surged through my veins and I felt a sarcastic remark form on my lips but I pursed my lips and turned my attention back to Jael.

"What did he want?" I inquired, laughing as Jael pulled a tacky pink sweater my Muggle aunt had bought me last winter.

"He wanted to know if you were up and if the date was still on," Regina cut in again and I turned to face her.

"Oh and I suppose you would have liked it if I couldn't," I was ready for anything because she had crossed the line the moment she turned my best friend into another one of her clones.

She smiled and made her way over until she was inches from my face and pulled her wand from her robes and I reached back and grabbed my mind.

"Evans you seem to be the only one who hasn't realized that I always get what I want and frankly I want James," I almost laughed at how much she resembled one of those monstrous popular girls from the Muggle movies.

"Well I'm sorry to point out he is too smitten by me to even take a second glance at you," I laughed in her face and instead of a reply I got a hex straight to my chest. It didn't hurt but looking at myself in the mirror was worse than any physical pain.

"Pink hair really makes your eyes stand out," she laughed in my face and I couldn't think before I sent a bat-boogey hex at her.

"YOU GUYS SOMEONES AT THE DOOR!" Jael shouted over are senseless yelling.

We both turned and found Sirius and James leaning against the door frame in hysterical laughter.

"You think this is funny?" I shouted jamming a finger at my head and almost breaking into tears for the second time in two days.

Hearing my voice crack Jael immediately ran over to me and grabbed my shoulder and forced me to look at her.

"Lils we can just undo the spell and your hair will be back to normal," she said reassuringly.

With one look at Regina we found she either didn't know how to undo the spell she had cast or she just wasn't going to tell but she was in pretty rough shape.

"Jael I can't possibly go on the date looking like this," I pointed to my head but by then James had heard far too much and cut in.

"Lily Evans it has taken me five years to get a date with you and you are not canceling because of some petty hair problem. I would say Regina is worse off and I can say she deserves it," he sniggered and I sent a smug look towards her.

With only an hour and a half until the date I couldn't possibly research how to undo the spell but it didn't matter and with one last goodbye to Sirius and James I headed into the shower.

"It's perfect!" Jael cried an hour and fifteen minutes later.

I took a deep breath and looked in the mirror and gasped at the stranger looking back. My hair was pulled back into a high ponytail and she had waved my hair like yesterday night. The pink hair hardly brought down the look. I had on my navy blue jeans and a plain white tank top with a white camisole pulled over top because I had refused to wear the camisole by its self.

"You are a make-up genius," I cried out looking at the way she had made my eyes look so beautiful with just the right amount of everything.

Around my neck was the lily necklace he had bought and squeezed in my black robes was my wand just for safety purposes.

At exactly two James knocked and a squealing Jael flung the door open and I grabbed my wallet before heading to the door.

"You won't need your wallet," James grabbed it and threw it Jael who placed it back on my bed.

Before I could complain Jael shoved me out the door with a quick "have a good time." It was a bit awkward walking down the stairs with James right beside me and none of us were yelling.

When we reached the common room door he held it open and helped me out with everyone in the common room staring making me want to sink into the floor. Once we were outside I got a good look at him and he looked really good.

Normally thoughts such as those would never run through my mind but under these circumstances it was different. He was wearing grey jeans and a light red jacket and his black hair was messy as usual making him look strangely cute and innocent.

"So Lils where do you want to go first?" James broke the silence and I felt a small blush creeping up on my cheeks.

"Why not The Three Broomsticks like you suggested?" I asked pulling down my tank top and staring intently at my feet.

"Of course," he stuck out his hand and I feebly accepted it.

We walked down the path leading towards The Three Broomsticks. When he finally opened the door the warmth rushed at me and I welcomed it happily. I pulled off my robes and he led me to a table closer to the front of the bar because he knew sitting at the back would make me uncomfortable.

"Is Regina alright? That was a pretty nasty bat-boogey hex you sent at her. I suspect she'll be in the Hospital Wing over night," James said seriously and I snorted.

"I kind of hoped she'd stay in there longer but maybe I am being cruel," I said thoughtfully.

"Wouldn't be the first time now would it?" James laughed and told me to hold on a moment while he ordered us both a butter beer.

I internally groaned that James and Jael wouldn't let me take my wallet. How was I supposed to buy anything when we went shopping? I couldn't possibly let James pay for it.

When he came back he placed a butter beer in front of me and took his seat, "have I messed up yet?"

I smiled at his sincerely, "no not yet."

He laughed at the last part before looking down at my worried face and before he even had the chance to explain I started.

"James I can't even buy anything now because you threw my wallet back to Jael. I wanted to buy some new quills and ink and I wanted to look at getting some new dress robes," I said sheepishly and he grinned good-naturedly.

"Lily anything you want today you name it and I'll get it for you," he said kindly taking my hand from across the table.

I didn't like how my heart fluttered when he touched me and I certainly didn't like the way my stomach was in knots the moment he grabbed my hand.

"Alright as long as you let me pay you back," I smiled and he nodded his head vigorously.

"Deal," he smiled but by the look in his eyes I knew he would never on his life let me pay him back.

"You're lying," I laughed and he nodded his head.

We sat in silence and all I could think about was his hand on mine and the fluttery feeling inside me that made me feel like a lovesick girl. Only I wasn't lovesick just merely nervous about being on a date with James.

"You ready to go?" James asked lightly.

"Whenever you are," I replied confidently and only letting go of my hand to put on our jackets, we left.

"Can we stop off to get my quills and parchment?" I asked nervously and he smiled and led me towards the shop.

It only took ten minutes to get the quills and ink and with lots of time on our hands we headed over to Madame Malkin's. After a quick fitting it was time to choose the color. James suggested I go with an emerald green like my eyes but I wanted yellow. After fifteen minutes of debating we chose a soft purple that really made my eyes and my hair stand out.

"All done," Madame Malkin smiled and handed me the bag with the robes after James paid the correct amount of galleons.

"Thank you so much James," I smiled at the bag I was holding and he gently took it away with one hand and grabbed my hand with the other.

"Lils there is some place I really want to show you," he said nervously and I let him lead the way.

We made our way along a deserted path through a thick bunch of trees. When he stopped I took in the whole scene with my mouth wide open and realizing I looked like a fool I closed my mouth.

"This is amazing James! How in the world did you find this place?" I asked looking at the frozen lake in front of me.

It was the perfect place to just sit and be alone. The lake was beautifully shaped and frozen. Around there were willow trees, bare from the cold.

"Well you know us guys we like to wander," he said sheepishly.

"In the summer it looks a lot better with the grass and the flowers and by then the willow trees aren't bare," he said smiling at the look of awe etched on my face.

"It really is a wonderful place," I smiled at the scenery and then at him.

With one swift movement his lips captured mine. His lips were soft and gentle and he didn't try to take anything further. It wasn't at all like I'd thought it would be but much, much better. It was all the heat of the moment that caused me to kiss back and when I snapped back to my senses I pulled away.

"I'm sorry Lils! I didn't mean for it to happen, I just couldn't help myself." James flinched while waiting for my reaction.

I surprised both of us by laughing but not hysterically just lightly.

"It's alright James I kind of thought this might happen," I said simply.

"What might happen?" James asked with a hopeful expression on his face.

"I knew you would probably try and kiss me but that doesn't mean you can ever do it again, understand?" I asked sternly and he laughed before nodding his head enthusiastically.

With one glance at my watch I realized that it was already going on six thirty so with one last glance at the scenery we turned and headed back to the castle.

"How was it?" Jael sat across from me on the bed.

It was seven and as soon as we had stepped in the common room Jael had dragged me up to the dorms with a polite goodbye to James.

"It went extremely well," I blushed and looked down at my hands.

"Did you kiss?" Jael asked grinning widely.

"Yes," I replied quietly and she let out a squeal before pressing on.

"Did you like it?" Jael wouldn't let it go until she knew all the details so I gave her what she wanted.

"He took me to this beautiful lake and while I was taking it all in he kissed me and I kissed back but only because I mistook him to be a hot Quidditch star," I joked and Jael laughed slightly before replying that he was a hot Quidditch star.

"Hey you never answered my question! Did you like the kiss?"

"A little," I admitted and she cried out in excitement.

"Jael just because I liked it a tiny bit when he kissed me does not mean I like him," I groaned and she clapped her hands.

"It so means you like him and you can try and deny it but you so do," she smiled at me with understanding.

"Sirius was looking for you earlier. He said you had a task for him to perform," she sounded slightly confused but shrugged it off all the same.

With those words being said I jumped off the bed and ran to the common room and found James along with Sirius sitting on the coach talking.

"Sirius I need to talk to really quick," I said fast and just as fast as it had come out we were headed for a corner.

"You kissed James!" Sirius cried out in delight and I laughed before shushing him because of the looks people were casting.

"Yes I did now anyway I dare you to go through a whole day of school dressed in girl's clothes and of course make-up. You also must pretend to be totally oblivious about the looks people give you and if anyone asks you must say you felt like it," I laughed and he groaned.

"Lily that is cruel! You had this so planned out," he couldn't help but smile his approval of the smug look on my face.

"Of course I did! I am not letting you sneak by me with your tricks and I expect you to meet me outside the prefects bathroom around six thirty tomorrow morning so we can get started," I said and with one last wave I walked to the library to catch up on some well needed studying time.

_I can't even express how so sorry I am about getting this chapter out so late. I just have had such bad writers block until yesterday when it finally wore off. I keep promising to write faster and then I keep letting you down and I swear on my life I will try on every possible occasion to write for you guys. Now for your question and try to be unique with your answers!_

_**If you could choose to be amazing at just one spell which spell would you choose and why?**_

_I am so glad I finished this chapter please in your reviews tell me what you thought of it._

_One last thanks to James' Lily Flower for the totally amazing dare._


	11. Disasters

_CHAPTER 10_

_Disclaimer: I do not Harry Potter or anything in it for that matter._

_So I would like to express my disappointment (yes I am semi joking) that this time I only got 8 reviews when last time I got 15! I would also like to recognize ForgiveButNeverForget for her interesting answer:_

_Um, does being a Metamorphmagus count? I would make myself less plain and more exciting looking! Hehe, and, of course, spying would be so much easier._

If it doesn't, I would want to be good at stupefy because you can knock your enemy unconscious!

I rubbed my eyes and made my way down to the prefect's bathroom to meet Sirius. I had been up since five in the morning in order to get ready before I had to make Sirius into a girl.

I found him standing there nearly sleeping against the wall.

"What's wrong Sirius? Never up before noon?" I joked before saying the password and stepping into the room. He followed straight after and shut the door behind himself.

"This isn't a joking matter Lils! You're about to turn me into a girl and you're making jokes about my sleeping habits?" he glared down at his feet and I opened my backpack letting its contents spill to the floor.

Inside were a couple of skirts, dress' and shoes to choose from and Jael's make-up bag. I laughed at the look of pure horror on his face. I held up a few possible outfit combinations before selecting a white knee length skirt my mother had sent me and a light blue halter top.

I grabbed my make-up bag and started to do his make-up as best as I could which in the end looked pretty good if I did say so myself. He looked pretty stupid already so I moved onto his hair which was shaggy enough to put into a ponytail and that's exactly what I did.

After slipping on some black stiletto shoes I allowed him to look in the mirror and he gasped in horror and I erupted in giggles. He didn't like the fact that he looked like he had actually tried to look like girl and glared at me.

"Lily you are not being fair! All my dares were at least fair, well except my last one," he groaned realizing why I was doing this in the first place and I looked at him smugly.

"Sirius we finished an hour earlier than I had expected," I pointed out and we both took a seat on a couch to the left of the big bathtub.

"Lily I have been meaning to tell you something," he said so quietly that I almost didn't hear him.

"What would that be Black?" I grinned at him to lighten the mood and picked up my backpack to make sure I had my transfiguration book for that was my first class.

"I really like Jael," he laughed with me at how fast that had come out.

I hadn't thought of the Jael and Sirius problem in weeks and felt a pang of guilt. My two best friends still secretly liked each other and the only thing I was worried about was me and James.

At even the mere thought of James I involuntarily shivered. The date had been only yesterday but it had still been a surprise to wake up with Jael sitting on my bed wanting the rest of the date details.

"I think I may have a little bit of feelings for James," I said quietly and he toppled backwards off his chair and onto the floor.

"What did you say Lils?" Sirius asked politely but he seemed to be hiding an expression that I couldn't quite make out.

"I think I may have feelings for James," I said a little louder and he pumped his fist in the air and shouted with joy.

"Yes! My plan worked," he cried out and I thought I had heard him incorrectly.

"Sirius Black what plan are you talking about exactly?" I asked him and seeing the look of anger on my face he quickly plunged into an explanation. 

"Well I knew that you and James were perfect for each other. It was always bound to happen and not only did I know it but pretty much everyone in the school knew it. I just thought by daring you to do stuff with James that you would eventually realize he really is an amazing guy."

"Sirius I can't believe you would even try that! I didn't even say I had fallen for him, I said I might like him a little," I shrieked and stood up so fast that my chair tipped backwards and fell with a big bang.

I grabbed my bag and left the room with no particular place in mind just to get away from him. I couldn't even believe this whole game, no this whole friendship, was a clever plan to bring me closer to James.

I heard him shout my name but I kept running from not only him but the whole dilemma that followed. I couldn't tell James because then he would think I didn't like him and maybe I did. It was too soon to answer that question.

I didn't notice that someone was standing there and I ran straight in them. I expected us to fall but we didn't and I felt a pair of arms wrap around me.

"Lils what is wrong?" James asked and I knew very well I couldn't tell him but then Sirius flew around the corner and spotted us.

"Lily can we just talk for a second without you screaming at me?" Sirius asked and I shook my head into James chest.

"No Sirius we can't! Why would you even think of doing this to me?" I asked as tears soaked James' robes.

"Lily why are you crying and Sirius why are you dressed as a girl?" James asked calmly but his arms tightened around my lower back.

"James I hope you understand but I just can't tell you at least not right now," my voice was muffled by his robes but they both had heard me fine.

"Lily he deserves to know," Sirius said seriously and before I could cut in he started again.

"James look the reason we have been acting funny and the reason Lily even talked to you never the less dated you was because we were playing a game of truth or dare," he had explained my life the last couple months in one sentence. All my pain, happiness and anger were all expressed in that one little sentence.

I whipped out of James' arms and walked straight up to Sirius and raised my hand to smack him but James grabbed my hand before I could actually bring it down.

"What is with you and resorting to violence?" James asked and pointed to the polished prefects badge on my robes.

"James I really do like you," I pleaded and he looked at me a little hurt and shook his head.

"No I really don't think you do. If you really liked me you wouldn't hide something this big from me and you most certainly wouldn't have taken advantage of my love for you," he turned on his heel and kept walking down the hall.

I turned to Sirius new tears running down my face and pointed my finger accusingly, "this is your fault entirely. Why would you even tell him?"

"Lily the world doesn't revolve around you. James has feelings and both of us deliberately hurt them," he said sticking up for James like I knew he would.

"Sirius I happen to know that world doesn't revolve around me but I also know that this is as much your fault as it is mine because you are the one that set me up," I sobbed and he came closer to wrap his arms around me but I put out my hand to stop him.

The tears kept falling and I knew I must be on camera because this stuff was only supposed to happen in movies. James was supposed to understand completely and tell me that he still loved me and that if I returned his feelings then this would all blow over but he had looked so hurt that it had hurt me more to know I had caused it.

"Lily you have to let people in," Sirius said gently and that only made me more made for I had let someone in and that was not only the biggest mistake of my life but also had cost me James.

"I let you in Sirius," I cried and he successfully wrapped his arms around me and I leaned into his chest.

"That was the best thing in the world you could have done for me and you for we both needed each other," he said into my ear and I hugged him back.

The day went by so slowly for I had all my classes with James and he refused to even look at me. We had been paired up in potions and he had requested for a new partner whom he had gotten and I got Snape. It was so nice to have someone to tell everything to and he had just listened and said all the right stuff.

"Lily you have to stop blaming yourself for everything. Sure you played a part in this game but you were not lying to James about your feelings for him," he pointed out and I had given him a hug and James chose to turn at the moment and once he saw our hug he had sent me a disgusted look.

"Thanks Snape," I joked using his last name and he smiled at me before kissing my hand gently. It wasn't a love kiss more like a good luck kiss for we both knew I was going to need it.

Sirius had almost as rough a day as me for his new girl look had been taken as his message to the world that he was going to get a sex change. I had not found it very funny and often found myself sticking up for him. James was also there to tell people to shove off and with the two of us by his side, well not exactly at the same time; he had gotten through the day.

After a tiring day I headed upstairs for an early bed time when to my luck Jael ran into the room and cried out in some kind of shock.

"Oh Lily it is awful," she shouted and I turned from my position where I had been crying to look at her.

"What is awful Jael?" I inquired with an eyebrow raised.

Jael had known all about what had happened between James and me for I had told her when she had caught me in the broom cupboard crying. When she found out that it was my fault her and Sirius were not together right now she had not been happy with me but when I broke into tears again she couldn't stay angry.

"James and Regina were in the broom cupboard snogging," Jael cried and the tears formed but my look only made her describe more.

"I was going past the broom cupboard when I heard some noises coming from it. I opened the door to see if any poor creature was trapped and I found them snogging," she explained that James had her pressed up against the wall when I held up my hand to silence her.

Fresh tears formed and I found my comfy spot on my bed to continue my crying session when Jael placed her hand of my shoulder causing me to look up.

"Karma is cruel dear and I hate to be the barer of bad news but karma just bit you in the ass," she smiled a little and I laughed at how true it was.

"So darling, karma bit me in the ass now it is his turn," I smiled at the mere thought of what karma could do to him.

"Lils I wouldn't be so sure. Men are strange creatures and he just lost the one he loved so that was his way of coping," she explained but I cut in.

"He never lost me," I sighed and she smiled sympathetically.

"Do you believe that?" Jael asked raising an eyebrow.

"With everything in my entire being," I said honestly and she beamed at me.

"Then why in the world are you sitting here talking to me about it. I think he is the one who deserves to know your feelings," she encouraged and I decided she was right and stood from the bed.

I looked horrid, lots of my hair was pulled from its ponytail and my eyes were red from crying. I didn't even think of changing my appearance, I would need it to show him how much I had been through in the last 10 hours.

I made my way down the stairs receiving either sympathetic or odd stares but I ignored them all. I made my way to the couch where Regina and James were having another snogging session.

I tried to say his name but I already had tears rolling down my cheeks and the whole common room watching. The silence caused him to lock eyes with mine. The look of pure enjoyment from the snogging session was erased seconds after we met but it had still been there which hurt more than even tears could show.

"Lily this is nothing," he said pointing to Regina who was looking at me with so much satisfaction that it made me sick to my stomach.

I couldn't answer him so I just shook my head and let the tears that had been waiting to be set free fall. This was not like James but then it could be for obviously I didn't know him as well as I'd thought.

I turned to leave because from the look on Regina's face and the words that were struggling to find their way out it was enough to make me throw up. This sounded very good at the moment and with that I went outside and became "love sick" literally.

James was out soon and realized that the puke all over the floor was for him but Regina was on his arm so soon and his eyes admitted it all. He wasn't over me but he was trying to be and Regina was his girlfriend.

"James you are a moron. A huge moron," it was my turn to shake my head walk away.

It wasn't meant to be dramatic but it was and I couldn't help it and when I opened the door to the common room and stepped in a flock of students ran back to the couches. James and Regina never entered but not only did I not care but I didn't understand how James could possibly ever do that to me.

Jael was by my side in no time to comfort me and the truth hit me.

I was in love with James Potter.

_So everyone I am sorry this one is a bit short but that was my plan for this chapter and I guess it just so happens that it is a bit shorter than normal. I am planning on about three more chapters. I know this story is quite short but I will not hope to push this story on longer than it should go and make it boring. Now for the question of the chapter and answer honestly._

_**If I were to write a story called The Diary of a Woman Most Likely to Go Insane and it is obviously a diary of Lily's feelings for James, would you read it?**_

_I hope you enjoyed this chapter and the next one will be up very soon._


	12. Words Unspoken

CHAPTER 11

_Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or anything in it except for the plot and is it just me or is this getting really annoying._

_I am writing this chapter before the tenth even comes out so I hope you enjoy. While I wrote this chapter I listened to I Won't Go Home Without You by Maroon 5._

"Lily wake up!" Jael called out to me and I groaned before realizing it was half an hour until school started

It had been a week and Regina and James were still going out and I hadn't been to class in 3 days. I had gone the first two days after and decided I just couldn't do it anymore. I would tell Jael I was sick and cry for the day. I now knew what it was like to be broken hearted and I didn't like it one bit. What had happened to the strong Lily Evans?

"I don't feel well," I lied and buried my head in the pillows a fresh batch of tears in my eyes.

"Bullshit Lils," she grabbed my arms and pulled me onto the ground.

Tears were already streaming and I couldn't help to be sickened by the fact that I was crying over James Potter. All through school I hated him with a passion and now I was madly in love and he was ignoring me. This must be some kind of alternate universe.

"Look Jael I am so sorry but I just can't face him," I cried out and she sat beside me on the ground and put her arm around my shoulders.

"I would say that he isn't worth it but you and I both know he is. He is worth all the tears because knowing James his head overcame his heart and he'll snap back quite soon," she squeezed my shoulders before pulling me to my feet.

"I suppose," I sighed grabbing my books knowing either way I would be going to school today whether I wanted to or not.

"Oh come on Lils," she smiled encouragingly and I forced a smile before following after her.

My first class was potions and I internally groaned at the misfortune of sitting next James. Come to think of it I probably groaned externally too.

I sighed before dropping my bag under my desk and pulling my out my textbook.

"It's nice to see you're feeling better," James said quietly and I pretended I hadn't heard him and scribbled notes fiercely for Professor Slughorn had started almost immediately.

After that he didn't make anymore attempts to speak to me but he did cast nervous glances at me as if he didn't realize why wasn't speaking.

As soon as the bell rang I grabbed my bag and headed towards the door as fast as I could but it wasn't fast enough because Sirius caught my arm and pulled me to the side.

"Yes Sirius?" I asked slightly strained because Regina and James were headed towards the door and I didn't want to be there if they decided to speak to me.

"I think I am going to ask Jael out today," he grinned awkwardly before looking to the side where James and Regina had just exited the classroom.

"That's great Sirius! I am so happy for you," I smiled but it was only half-heartedly because I wanted him to be concerned about me; I wanted to be selfish for once in my life.

"Yeah, are things still weird between you and James?" he asked worriedly and now that I had gotten the attention I didn't want it and I nodded my head miserably.

"Oh I'm so sorry Lils! I really, really am," he sighed because he knew it was his entire fault I was in this position in the first place. I couldn't possibly stay mad at him for the truth would have come out sooner or later.

"I know," a small, sad smile formed on my lips as James and Regina walked right by me without a word or glance.

"Do you think Jael would like me to ask her out in front of everyone or alone?" He asked but I knew he would much prefer the group option.

"You know Jael; she is such a public person," I smiled and he looked relieved and I could tell he didn't do quite well with one on one talks.

"Thanks Lily," he grinned before running towards the next class.

I walked slowly towards my next class before deciding something so unlike the Lily Evans everyone knew. I was going to skip class to cry. I honestly couldn't believe myself for I had cried so much in the last couple days I had found it completely unbelievable that I still had tears to cry.

I wasn't however worried about the work because I finished it all during my days of being "sick".

I decided I would stay in the common room instead of the dorm because I was so sick of being in there. I walked inside and situated myself in front of the fire and pulled out a book my mother had sent me.

I could never remember the title but it was about a guy who fell in love with a girl who loved another man. I was nearing the end and the man she was in love with was coming out as the winner but the guy was not about to give up.

I on the other hand was wondering how James had ever stuck around so long because now that I was in his shoes I was ready to give up.

"Lily?" A familiar voice spoke and I looked up and groaned when I saw Jael standing in the doorway. I hadn't noticed I had started to cry again but I wasn't all that surprised.

"I'm sorry Jael but I saw her with him and I couldn't stand another class with him," my voice was shaky but firm.

"Lily Evans is that even you in there? What happened to my strong, independent friend that didn't need to be checked on every ten minutes in case she was on the verge of a mantle break down?" She asked but took a seat beside me.

I pointed to the door and said, "I think she went that way."

She frowned at me and looked at me as if truly studying me for the first time. Her frown deepened as if she didn't like the person she had found. I felt so small under the intense stare and finally waved my hand near he face to snap her out of it.

"I am sorry Lily but I can't accept that answer because even though you want to die you'll make it through, I did," she smiled wearily as though even having this conversation was the last thing she wanted to do.

"Sirius was dared though, that's completely different," I reasoned and she looked out the window.

"I didn't know though and you certainly weren't in the position to tell me anything," she grinned at me and I looked sheepishly at the ground.

"Lily I am glad I came up here because there is still a lot to be said now before anything can be done and I need to ask you a few questions," she said slowly and I nodded unsteadily and looked at the ground.

"Do you like Regina?" She asked and I almost laughed out loud at how completely stupid that question was.

"Of course I don't," I grinned and she grinned back because after that hexing incident Jael wasn't speaking to Regina and nor was I.

At that moment I was reminded of the first day I had ever met James Potter. He was arrogant and walked with a strut but when he saw me his strut faltered just a little and him and his new friend Sirius walked over.

"Hi I'm James and this is my friend Sirius," he said and pointed to his friend who nodded at me.

"I am Lily Evans," I held my books tighter to my chest and he sniggered.

"Your name is a flower and your hair is orange. You can be an orange Lily," he smiled and I laughed.

"I don't want to be a Lily! I'd much rather be a rose," I said thoughtfully while my new best friend Jael waved me over.

"Well you can't! Your name is Lily so therefore you must be one," he said rudely and I glared at him and he instantly glared back.

"Well I don't much care what you think. If I want to be a rose I will be a rose, so there!" I shouted and turned and strode the compartment where Jael was sitting waiting for me.

"Who was he?" Jael asked and I shrugged because I didn't really remember who he had said he was.

"James Lotter," I said even though I wasn't quite sure if it was right or not.

Thinking back now getting angry over such a thing as what flower to be seemed silly but at the time it was the most important thing in the world. I suddenly wondered what might have happened if things had gone differently. What if I had become friends instead of enemies?

Later that week Mary MacDonald had come up to me and told me that James Lotter liked me and I had told her to tell him to shove off. I later found out he didn't like when people were rude to him and approached me with that same annoying strut.

"I like you," he said boldly but it didn't unnerve me.

"Didn't Mary tell you that I said to shove off?" I asked just as boldly and he glared at me and I glared right back without a moment's hesitation.

"Yes she did and I don't believe that. You like me too I know it," he said and I laughed out loud causing his pride to slowly fall.

"I don't like boys! Besides if I liked a guy it most certainly wouldn't be you," I said my eyes challenging him to fight back and as I came to know James Potter doesn't turn down a challenge.

"Why in the world wouldn't you like me? I'm smart, talented, good looking," he started listing things but I cut him of.

"You're also completely arrogant and rude," I reasoned and he glared at me.

"Those are just things that come with being as good as me," he said and smirked.

"You're almost as bad as Lucius Malfoy and I heard he's awful. I bumped into him in the hallway and he called me a Mudblood. Wait, do you have any idea what that means?" I asked not very sure of all these magical terms yet.

His face softened and so did his voice when he said, "People think when you're a Muggle-born you are not as good as another witch or wizard who is a pureblood. Mudblood is a very mean term which means dirty blood and a pureblood is someone who comes from a line of all wizards and witches," he said softly and tears pricked at my eyes.

"Go back to Sirius; there is no need to waste your time with a dirty Mudblood like me," I wailed and ran towards the common room.

He entered almost straight after me and approached the couch where I was crying and Jael was comforting her. Jael glared at him but he didn't falter even a smidge.

"Lily Flower I did not say I thought you were a Mudblood! I would never say that and besides you're better than any pureblood in the world besides me of course," his arrogant side was showing and I was quickly annoyed.

"I don't care what you say James Potter," I used his full name to show him I was upset and with one last grumble to me he headed towards Sirius.

"Lily? LILY?" Jael shouted and I quickly snapped out of my flashback and found I was sobbing harder than I ever had.

James Potter had stuck up for me and I was too foolish to care. Of course I was only eleven but what made up for the all the years leading up to this one?

"I'm so sorry Jael but I just can't stand to be around him right now," I sighed but it was barely noticeable through my hard sobbing.

"I understand but I must warn you that it is lunch time and James and Regina just walked in," she said quickly and upon walking in James had noticed my sobbing and was making his way over with Regina right behind.

"What's wrong Lils?" James asked and my stomach fluttered just from hearing him use that stupid little nickname.

"Yes Lily what is wrong?" Regina asked and I gave her my worst glare causing her to back down a bit.

"YOU ARE JAMES POTTER! I JUST CAN'T STAND YOU! WHY DO I EVEN LOVE YOU?" I screamed at him before realizing the words that slipped from my mouth.

"These last couple days all I have been able to do is cry and it is entirely fault!" I accused but now that I had started I couldn't stop because I had so much venting I needed to do.

"I know you possibly hate me for what I did but you just had to hook up with Regina to rub it in my face didn't you? Lily Evans likes me now but go to hell because Regina is hotter," I roared but he dare not speak until he knew I was finished.

"I mean why not take the easy way out, huh? I mean why not go out with the girl Lily despises because Lily has no feelings. I mean what's the point with talking things out with the girl you love?" I was crying harder now but with only a quarter of the people in Gryffindor watching I did not really care.

"Lily, I am the girl he loves," Regina smirked and both James and I turned to face her.

"Don't get me started," I warned and she took the hint and sunk back in the chair.

"She already has me started!" Jael yelled rounding on her so I wouldn't have to. Jael and I were quite a team when it came to yelling since we were quite possibly the loudest people in Gryffindor.

"Regina for the past few months all I have heard from you is insults towards my best friend and you know what at first I didn't say anything but now I have too much things to say," she cried out and I was feeling more proud of her by the second.

"First of all, who in the world would go so low as to make out with a guy who is practically taken?" She yelled and Regina sunk lower and James was… smiling?

"Second, I will not take the hexes or the comments you send at my best friend because you are the one who deserves it not her," she said boldly and I smiled though I was still crying and finally she sat down done with her speech.

I couldn't take all the eyes peering at me especially not the hazel ones that meant the most. I took quick strides until I was out of the common room and I sank against the wall crying like I had honestly never cried before.

James exited the door a few minutes after with Regina right behind and they didn't seem to notice me crouched on the floor crying silently.

"James what are you thinking? We have only been going out for a week or so and you want to stop for a Mudblood?" Regina screamed but at the last word fire roared in James eyes.

"Don't you ever, ever call her that! Don't test me Regina because you will be sorry. Do you understand?" He shouted and she nodded but she had not flinched once.

"I love Lily Evans and she was right I dated you so I could take the easy way out but she loves me and how in the world could I ever turn my back on her," he said thoughtfully and more to himself then to Regina.

I sniffed because I had been holding it in so long that I couldn't possibly hold it any longer. They turned to me and I looked up at them a little scared.

"Lily."

It was that one word that came out of his mouth that made my stomach turn and my head light. A small smile forced its way to my lips and he smiled back gently.

"We have so much to talk about," he grinned but his tone was serious.

"We have all the time in the world but first we have someone we need to check on," I smiled before pulling myself up off the ground and then we walked towards the common room silently agreeing that we would talk but not now.

"Jael I am not so great with feelings so please be patient with me. I really do like you and if you could possibly forget the game of truth or…" He couldn't finish his sentence before she threw her arms around him and kissed him passionately and when they pulled apart Jael laughed.

"Of course I will go out with you Sirius Black," she cried out and I giggled because he hadn't even asked the question but we all knew it was coming.

"I was going to ask for your forgiveness but that is so much better," he said jokingly and Jael smiled shyly.

The bell rang and everyone filed out of the common room for next period and I noticed the look Jael sent me before leaving James and me to our discussion.

We had so much to talk about that class wasn't even an option for none of us were willing to wait.

_Thanks so much for all the reviews and helping me get to 100! I adore you guys so much and all your nice comments make my day. It was fun to write this chapter because I wrote part of it in an internet café. The story is coming to an end so I am quite upset but I am writing two more chapters plus an epilogue. So here is your question:_

_**If you were to date any one character in all the Harry Potter series who would it be and why?**_

_I like this question because there are so many possible answers. I am so glad you would all read my other story it means so much to me!_


	13. Didn't See That Coming

CHAPTER 12

_Disclaimer: Don't own it._

_Only three chapters left including this one and I am so nervous and excited to actually finish a whole story! I am sorry this came out so late but I have a fever and I am at 101.1 as I write this._

I sat silently on the couch while James talked and he sure had a lot to say so I listened.

"Lily I know I was a right prat for going out with Regina but I was just upset that you had gone out with me because of a dare," he said sadly.

"That wasn't my dare but I must admit Sirius made it seem that way so I accepted but then he told me it wasn't and dared me to wear that dress. I didn't have the courage to tell you no because you were so excited," I smiled at the memory.

"Look Lily I love you so much but that doesn't mean I can't take an honest opinion from you except when it is put in a spiteful way," he sighed and I did the same.

We both found this situation very uncomfortable but things needed to be said and we needed to say them.

"James I was afraid back then. Everyone told me that we were perfect for each other and I refused to believe it. No let me rephrase that, I was afraid to believe it."

"Lily you must know that I would never on my life do anything to hurt you," he said kindly taking my hand again in what felt like forever.

"I was only a little afraid of being hurt it was more of the giving in. Everyone knew one of us had to give in and I so desperately didn't want it to be me," I said sounding so ashamed of myself I couldn't look at him.

"What was the real harm in giving in? I wanted it is and likely a part of you did too so it wouldn't really be losing if you gained something," he said and I followed just barely before nodding.

"I understand now but at the time I saw it as a sign of weakness, like if I didn't hate you I was becoming soft and I didn't want to be soft I wanted to be strong," I couldn't look him the eyes still for I knew the worried look in his eyes would send me to tears.

"Sitting here telling me this is being strong Lils," he said rubbing my palm gently and I completely relaxed.

"Lils we both are uncomfortable obviously but once this conversation is over we can move on," he said soothingly and I nodded slightly.

"Move on to what?" I asked hoping he didn't mean move on the way I was thinking.

"We can move on to whatever you and I feel is right," he said staring me in the eyes making me squirm just a little.

"Lily can I ask you the questions that have been driving me insane? I promise you can ask me yours afterwards," he said and I nodded my head instead of replying because in truth I was feeling a bit queasy. 

"How did this game start?" He was starting off simply but I knew the tougher questions were coming.

"Sirius came up to me a few months ago and wanted me to at least talk to you and when I refused he dared me," I said plainly not wanting to take this farther than this needed to go.

I was listening but I was watching the way his lips moved and remembering the way they felt on mine and I longed for the electric energy that had surged through me.

"Why would you accept? There was nothing in it for you," he said quietly but those words hit me like a bullet and I suddenly found my feet interesting once again.

"James I was stupid, okay? I hated you and Sirius and he said I could dare him and it just escalated from there," I couldn't possibly describe the pain in the pit of my stomach. Would he hate me by the end of this?

I stared out the window at the lightly falling snow and started to feel tears prick at my eyes and I wanted to run out into the snow and let it engulf me or turn me into an icicle, whichever was faster.

"What were you really doing in my room that one night?" He had a big grin across his face and I had to smile at the memory.

"I was taking your golden snitch boxers but Sirius put them back. I can definitely say I wasn't exactly expecting you to come in," I laughed and he turned a slight pink which made my heart flutter. Never had I felt this way about someone and for everyone out there that must be laughing at my pain and suffering over the last months I love him, so ha.

"Maybe I should have never asked. Why did you kiss me back?" He seemed so genuinely interested that I wanted to throw my arms around him but I kept my hands to myself well except one hand of course.

"At the time it was in the spur of the moment mixed with a little bit of feelings," I said shyly but still making eye contact.

"So let's say I kissed you now would you kiss me back?" He shifted in his seat so he was facing me with a wicked grin flickering across his face.

"Why don't you test it Potter?" I asked back and he leaned in to once again capture my lips in his.

It felt just like the last one but this time all our pain, longing and happiness was going into and yes, I did kiss him back. I felt the same surge of electricity and it seemed to make me light headed but it was alright with me.

"Well Potter I believe it is my turn, wouldn't you say?" I laughed and he nodded his head eagerly and I ran my fingers down his cheek before dropping them into my lap, embarrassed.

"I may not have as many as you but one in particular is burning a hole inside me. Why Regina?" I asked and he seemed to be the one who couldn't make eye contact.

"She was just there, you know?" He asked and I shook my head so he continued. "I knew she liked me and when you rejected me I just needed to feel loved by a girl for once because you were a constant let down," he said and any other girl would have freaked but I understood perfectly.

"I know James and I am really sorry but I can't go back and if I could I wouldn't," I was so glad when he nodded his head showing he understood what I meant. I had just meant that everything that had happened had brought us where we were today.

"Do you still love me?" It was that question that had been burning a hole in me for so long that after I asked it I took a deep breath.

"Lily is that even a question? Of course I love you Evans," he laughed and pulled me into another kiss that made the butterflies come back.

It was going to be utterly his fault when I couldn't concentrate in class and it would be his fault when I drew stupid hearts all over my parchment and I couldn't care less really.

With the conversation out of the way we both knew class still wasn't an option so he took my hand and led me out to the school grounds where different classes were taking places in all directions. He hadn't necessarily come out for anything but to get some fresh air.

We stayed out most of the day lying in the snow with a warming charm and just talking and trust me there was a lot to talk about. He had twirled my hair, kissed me and held my hand tightly and I fell for him all over again.

"James I think we best be getting back before people notice our absences," I suggested and he and I stood up hand in hand and made our way over to the Entrance Hall.

We walked in a comfortable silence to the Gryffindor common room and before he opened the door he turned to me.

"Are you ready?" He asked squeezing my hand.

"I'm ready James now let's go," I opened the door and pulled him in.

I thought some people would notice our hands entwined but I was wrong, the whole common room was watching.

Jael skipped over happily, "I see you guys worked it out." I nodded my head and so did James.

"Jael what are we exactly supposed to say to all of them?" I asked genuinely confused for I had no idea how they were going to react.

"Just tell them the truth," Jael replied, but what was the truth?

Could I really just say, "Oh I came to my senses and realized that I'm in love with James Potter and all of you were right?"

"I'm going to repeat the question. What are we exactly supposed to say to them?" I tightened my grip on James' hand and he smiled at me encouragingly.

"James can you come here for a moment?" Jael inquired, smiling. He nodded before following her to a corner.

Sirius wandered up to me and looked at Jael and James in the corner whispering excitedly in the corner.

"Damn! Right when I thought she was starting to like me," he grinned and turned to me.

"I know what you mean, I admit my love for him and this is what I get in return," I smiled back.

"Lily I can't say how proud I am of you for admitting your feelings for James. He is so happy and it has only been like what 3 hours since you guys started going out," he laughed and I turned to him surprised.

"I'm not going out with him, well not officially," I said and he looked bewildered at my response.

"You mean he has not asked you out once today," he exclaimed, looking at his friend furiously.

I looked at James too and I did find it odd that now that he knew I liked him he hadn't once asked me out. It would be final once he asked me out and I said yes. It would mean he has won and I had lost and I didn't much care anymore. Though a part of me no matter how small was still scared. Scared that this relationship could go totally wrong.

"Not once but I am sure he has his reasons," I mumbled pitifully once again turning my attention back to Jael and James.

Jael and James finally started making their way back to us and even before saying hello Jael came up to whisper something to Sirius. James looked intensely happy and came up to me and placed his arms around my shoulder casually while at the same time sending secret glances to Jael and Sirius.

"What are you up to?" I asked suspiciously and he looked at me innocently.

"Nothing Lils," he winked at Jael and Sirius who immediately spread out around the common room whispering things to several people.

I stood before the scene completely oblivious of what they were saying but I knew something was going on because James just had that look on his face.

"Aren't you going to announce anything?" I joked and he looked at me slightly worried and I again gave him a look of suspicion and he smiled at me.

"I will Lily but at the right time," he sounded a bit like Dumbledore when he wouldn't tell us all something that was usually important.

"Okay James, anything you say. Why don't we get Jael and Sirius back here so we can all do something like go to Hogsmeade?" I asked but he led me over to a couch and sat us down.

"Lily were perfectly fine here," he looked at the fire and pretended to be taking in its warmth.

"I know we are James I just feel like moving around," I stretched my legs and arms but it was no use this couch just wasn't as comfy as it needed to be to persuade me to stay.

He got up off the couch and offered me his arm before saying, "why not a stroll around the common room."

I took his arm but looked up at him like he needed help but he winked and I sighed before walking along with him.

After a short and pointless "stroll" he sat me down on the couch and Jael and Sirius made their way over to us hand in hand and I glanced up at them before moving closer to James – who welcomed it – so they could take a seat beside us.

I couldn't help but wonder why James was exacting so suspicious and making it so obvious. I knew that James was known for his pranks and must be good at making people think he didn't do anything so was he trying to hint something to me?

"Potter you better tell me what's going on here," I said sternly but my eyes gave me away and he just shrugged and put his arm back around his shoulder.

"Lily Evans you must be patient and besides I thought you might have found out something by now with your well known intelligence," he hinted that I should start guessing but I was too lazy to start naming possible things that James could be up to because trust me there could be a lot.

Then he turned to me and looked between Jael and Sirius before standing in front of me and if I hadn't been so shocked I would have noticed all the Gryffindor students watching too.

"Lily Evans, will you go out with me?" He asked pulling some roses from behind his back and handing them to me.

_I am so sorry to end the chapter here but my temperature has gone up to 101.5 and I just need to lie slep. Reviews would make me feel a bit happier ;) Oh and here is your question._

_**What can you possibly do when you are sick and need something to do?**_

_I know completely irrelevant but I am dying here :(. _

_Oh and I will apologize now for any mistakes but my head is pounding._


	14. Authors Note

I am so sorry guys for the huge gap without an update! As you know I had a fever the week before last. I could barely move and think never mind right a whole chapter and I apologize deeply for that. However, last week was the last week before term ended which meant handing in a lot of missing assignments and I am sorry to say school comes before my writing. I was going to write last weekend but I was hosting someone from Japan and had no free time. I hate writing author's notes but I really needed to explain my lack of writing.

Please expect an update very, very soon!

I am deeply sorry,

Meghan.


	15. Forever

Chapter 13

Chapter 13

_Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or anything in it._

_I am so sorry I haven't written in such a long time! I was in Hawaii all spring break and have just had so much to do. Thanks for sticking with me!_

"Excuse me?" I asked stupidly, taking the roses in one hand.

Jael and Sirius were now looking anxious but they couldn't compare to the look on James face. I realized quickly that could be taken the wrong way.

"I didn't mean it like that," I quickly apologized and his face relaxed but it was still expectant.

I tucked a strand of my hair behind my ear realizing I must be looking like a complete idiot at the moment to all my fellow Gryffindor students.

I waited a few seconds more and surprised myself and everyone else by throwing my arms around him, "OF COURSE!"

After everyone had left to go back to their groups gossiping about what they had just witnessed. I even heard a girl say smugly, "I told you so. 5 pounds."

James hadn't let go of me yet and his face showed he wasn't going to anytime soon. So happily I leaned into his chest memorizing everything about him. His smell, his smile, and the way his body felt with mine. He cupped my face in his hands and the feeling of perfect bliss washed over me. So this is what true love felt like I thought smiling at his angelic face.

"I love you," he whispered and I temporarily forgot how to breathe by the sincerity burning in each word.

He pulled me back into another kiss and I was starting to think that kissing James was a lot better than all those girls had gossiped about to their friends. They may have got a taste of James Potter but I got the whole damn package I thought smugly.

My hands knotted in his hair and I pulled myself closer aching for him. His hands went to the small of my back crushing me against his chest. His tongue traced my lips and I parted them slightly ready to deepen the kiss.

"Potter! Evans!" I turned horror struck at the voice of Professor McGonagall.

My mind raced for an excuse for why I would be standing in the middle of common room literally attached to James Potter kissing my brains out and drew a blank.

"Sorry Professor but he's just so irresistible," I imagined myself saying and shuddered at the thought.

"Please refrain from kissing in the common room. Wow never thought I'd say that to you two of all people," she started off with a ring of authority but the last sentence was more of a mutter.

"Sorry Professor McGonagall," James replied unrepentant, grinning at her and then at me.

"Lily what in the world is going on here?" McGonagall persisted, loosing the authority and asking with true curiosity. She didn't mean the kissing or _just_ the kissing.

"I realized I was in love with James Potter?" It came out as more of a question wondering if this was going to satisfy her.

"Potter what did you do to her!" McGonagall demanded, mistaking my new found love as a potion or a spell.

"I didn't do anything this time," he repeated and honesty rang out in his voice. She seemed to believe him for she looked between the two of us a couple times before walking out of the common room muttering to herself.

As soon as she was out of sight James embraced me again, "Now where were we?" He asked leaning in but I shook my head.

"There'll be more of that later but right now I really insist we go to Hogsmeade. Ask Jael and Sirius if they'd like to make it a double date," I asked, opening my bright green eyes wide to smile at him sweetly.

"Fine," he agreed, trying to be irritated but settling with a huge smile. It felt nice to have him smile like that.

_Lily Evans, what in the world are you doing? Do you even realize who that guy is? You're giving in, you swore you never would. _I didn't bother with the voice in my head this time. It just wasn't worth it anymore and though I still felt hesitant I was taking the chance and letting the cards fall where the may.

"Sirius!" He yelled to where his best friend was perched on the couch with my best friend leaning into his chest, while he whispered smoothly to her.

Sirius didn't reply but looked up at James with raised eyebrows his look clearly saying 'what is so important that you're pulling me away from _this_.'

Jael on the other hand bounded up from the couch skipping gracefully to stop in front of us and made a small salute before waiting to pass on the message.

Before James could say something rude to pass onto Sirius I quickly said, "I was only wondering if you two wanted to go to Hogsmeade with me and James."

She nodded quickly before running back to Sirius with the message. I saw him nod his head slightly before hoisting himself off the couch and grabbing Jael's hand.

"Must you always tempt her with shopping?"

Giving up, what exactly did I think that meant in this case. I was happy but the internal battle was still going full force. To me giving up, in this case, meant giving something up to get something better in return. Giving up my insecurities for happiness to be more specific.

"I don't want to go anymore than you do," James assured him, laughing slightly as me and Jael's eyes turned to slits.

"Then why are we going?" Sirius sighed. Shopping, even with the love of his life, would never sound appealing.

"Lily wants to and apparently so does Jael. It's called being compassionate," James smirked back, obviously trying to hit a nerve.

It worked because Sirius quickly shot back, "I call it being unhealthily obsessed with something or in this case someone."

Jael and I looked between ourselves, wondering how long this was going to take. Instead of waiting to find out, we grinned at each other, linked arms and headed toward the door.

"Wait up," Sirius groaned as him and James ran to catch up.

"Black stop being an idiot," I grumbled, trying to hide the smile that was forcing itself onto my face.

"Evans stop being such a bossy cow," he smiled widely at me and I felt the need to poke my tongue out him, so I did and that only made him smiled wider.

"Don't call my girlfriend a cow," James stood up for me, glaring at Sirius. I smirked deviously knowing I was protected.

Arriving what seemed like hours later because of the harsh winter wind we headed into the Three Broomsticks for something hot.

James bought me a hot chocolate and Sirius did the same for Jael. We smiled gratefully before sending each other excited smiles.

I had never felt like this. So girly, so giddy. I felt like squealing like Jael often did after a good date. It scared me but in a good way, I was already confused and I decided that looking into it would take too long.

"Hey Sirius?" I asked, barely containing the excitement that I was sure was radiating from my body.

"Yea Evans?" He answered warily, spotting my enjoyment.

"About the game of dare," I asked and felt slightly bad when both Jael and James stiffened slightly.

"What about it?" His tone still sounding cautious but my smile seemed to reassure him somewhat.

"Whatever happened to running around naked yelling your love for Severus Snape?" I asked, before doubling over with laughter at the horrified expression on his face.

"Lily Evans! I swear this is not over," Sirius yelled, and though I could not see him I knew he was angry.

My eyes were being covered by James who assured me he didn't have any clothes on. It was true that guys did take games way to seriously and I was overjoyed to help.

"One, two, three. GO!" James yelled and Sirius went off running screaming the words that made my day.

"I LOVE SEVERUS SNAPE!" He called running around the Quidditch pitch, I dared to open my eyes just slightly.

They snapped open when I realized he still had his uniform on and though he was yelling the words, it was cheating.

"You tricked me," I accused James, pointing my finger at his chest.

"Well I felt bad for him and besides do you really think that if he were naked I would be watching right now?" He asked astounded that I hadn't figured out sooner.

Realizing I had seen him Sirius ran sheepishly over to where I stood with my hands on my hips.

"Lily it would have been downright embarrassing," he asked as soon as he knew I could hear him.

"Oh I am quite glad you have clothes on," I answered quickly. "I am not on the other hand happy you didn't hold up the deal. You are the one who made up the punishment."

"Okay, okay. I understand but I did do the most important thing of the bet," he answered, and I noticed that people were still watching him, one being Severus who looked absolutely disgusted.

"Snape _heard_ that," James laughed.

Sirius looked around wildly and until he spotted Severus looking horrified and storming toward the building in a huff.

"Now that's embarrassing," Sirius muttered and I laugh quietly while Jael eyed him incredulously.

"I can't believe you just did that," she cried out, slightly amused but slightly psychotic.

James on the other hand was quite literally on the ground while Sirius endured this moment of pure humiliation.

"This isn't fair," Sirius groaned mortified by all the curious faces.

"Life isn't fair," I snorted but I was trying to smile kindly.

Back from Hogsmeade and Sirius' little adventure me and Jael slipped quietly back up to our dorm where she let out a shrill shriek and I followed quickly but into my pillow.

"They're amazing Lils, absolutely amazing," she cried out happily, as she slid into her pajamas.

I didn't answer but slid under the covers lying awake as she went quickly through her steps of getting ready to sleep. When she was finally in her bed as well I allowed myself to think.

I heard a quiet knock on the door and I got up and looked down at my sweats and oversized tee shirt and deciding it was safe.

I opened it a little and saw James standing there grinning in a pair of plaid pajama bottoms and a Hogwarts tee shirt.

"James?" I asked, slightly stunned. "What time is it?"

"Two in the morning," he answered promptly and we both went silent.

"May I ask why you're here at my door at two in the morning?" I asked awkwardly, stepping out of the room and closing the door as not to wake any of my room mates up.

"To ask you something," he answered quickly again, this time blushing slightly and I blushed in return. He had planned this and it seemed kind of cute.

"What would that be?" I asked and without a word he slipped his arm around my waist and started to guide me toward the common room.

The common room was dark with a few flickering candles and no one occupied it at the moment so it was uncomfortably silent.

"Would you like to go for a walk with me?" He asked but we were already on our way out the door.

"Accio cloaks," he raised his wand and our two cloaks sped silently toward us where he caught them quickly with his Quidditch reflexes.

He handed me mine and we walked noiselessly out the common room door.

"What are you doing so late?" The fat lady called after us but James ignored her so I did too.

He led me to the Great Hall before stopping suddenly remembering something but he didn't voice it instead muttered under his breath.

My questions were answered as my shoes and another cloak sped toward us. I ducked instinctively but James again caught both and I couldn't help but be slightly awed.

"Where are we going?" I breathed, barely a whisper.

"I want to show you someplace. Here slip this on," he handed me a cloak and I dropped it silently over my head immediately recognizing it as his invisibility cloak.

A few seconds later he joined me underneath and we walked to the huge doors and pushed them open. The night was chilly but the sky was full of twinkling stars and I smiled at my surrounding which were covered in glittering snow.

He had my hand in his and we were walking quietly toward the forest. I stopped abruptly and looked over at him sternly.

"Were not going in there are we?" I asked my voice a whisper but still filled with authority.

"Yes but don't worry Lils I come here often and besides were invisible," he said, gesturing to the cloak that was surrounding us, protecting us from the animals eyes.

"James this is a terrible idea. What if one of us gets hurt we could be expelled," I pled with him but he shook his head and dragged me on.

After what felt like forever but was really only fifteen minutes we stopped and I let myself look around and be amazed.

There was a creek flowing right past us somehow not affected by the cold temperatures. The trees around us were tall and glittering majestically and I felt my mouth fall open.

"How do you keep finding these places?" I asked despite my earlier complaints I was happy I was here.

He chuckled and it sounded harmonious, "Lily I thought you knew me better. I'm James Potter, I break all the rules."

I sighed as pulled off the invisibility cloak deciding it was safe now. The snow was now falling lightly and James stuck out his tongue to catch and I watched him unashamed when he caught me.

"Come here," he smiled, beckoning me with his finger. I obeyed and he pulled me to his chest.

"Stay here forever," he whispered, kissing me gently on the lips.

And I would, I would stay forever.

THE END

_So here reaches the end of my story but don't worry there is still the epilogue. I apologize again for getting this out so late and I'm sorry if my writing style changed slightly. I have written quite a few times before I posted this. Thanks for sticking with me through this story and I want to let you know how much I appreciate it._

_**Do you have any ideas for a new Harry Potter poll? **_

_There's this chapters question! I'm going to love this!_


	16. Epilogue

Epilogue

Epilogue

_Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter._

_Well this is the final chapter in my story. It may not be as long as the others, only 4 or 5 pages and takes place at their graduation from Hogwarts. I will have my long speech at the end of the chapter._

_Extra special thanks to lollipopprongs who read and reviewed __every__ chapter! It really means a lot when someone does that! Especially since my goal was to reach 200 reviews which I now see is impossible with one chapter left and 30 reviews to go but it was a dream all the same._

"Congratulations Lily dear," James jumped excitedly to stand in front of me, wearing his graduation robes.

He put his arm around my waist and I sighed, "I was so nervous that I wouldn't graduate."

He laughed as if this idea was so utterly absurd, which if I was being honest was really unbelievable. I had finished with extra credits in all my subjects and at least 100 in each one.

"You've got to be kidding me Lils. You thought that _you_ wouldn't graduate?" He asked incredulously, his body shaking from quiet laughter as he pulled me closer and leaned his head in my hair.

"Yes I did James because unlike you people have worries in their life," I elbowed his stomach softly and he grinned.

"Lily today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday," his grin stretched as I processed each word with a startled look on my face.

I knew at that moment that James did not make that up himself because he was not capable of the thought process that went into that.

"You did not come up with that," I shook my head and he smiled warmly as Jael and Sirius approached.

"LILY!" Jael shrieked, knocking James away and throwing her arms around my neck. I hugged her back with not nearly as much force as she was applying on my poor neck.

It was a bright June day and the graduation robes seemed to make everyone a bit uncomfortable as people hurried through their congratulations and goodbyes so they could get to their common rooms one last time to change into some more appropriate Muggle clothing.

James and Sirius had actually managed to get Professor Dumbledore to let them throw a party in the Gryffindor common room after the ceremony or at least that was what they were telling every Gryffindor within ear shot.

When Jael pulled back she had tears streaming and Sirius finally caught up looking warily at his fiancée who had apparently been crying before she had half strangled me.

"Hi Lils," Sirius pulled me awkwardly into a half hug but I wouldn't tolerate that and threw my arms around his neck similar to what Jael had just inflicted on me. "Congratulations," he breathed in my ear before pulling back and I felt tears now clouding my vision.

"You too Sirius! I'm so proud of you," I smiled sincerely and he grinned back at me before turning to James. They pulled into one of those awkward guy hugs before pulling away quickly.

"Oh Lily we have to keep in contact. Sirius and I purchased a house just outside Godric's Hollow and you need to visit. Make sure to owl me every time you get the chance," Jael started and I listened intently as she went through her five minute speech.

Godric's Hollow that was a nice little village. It was where James' parents currently resided in and where James almost obsessively talked about.

"Of course Jael," I smiled giving her another awkward hug before I turned back to James who was grinning wickedly at me.

He pulled me closer to him so his face was inches from mine and I felt my stomach flutter like it always did when he was this close to me. I smiled at him, his cologne making me slightly dizzy with pleasure.

"So Lily, Jael and Sirius got me thinking," he grinned and I rolled my eyes the smile never leaving my face.

"Wow congratulations to them... I personally thought that you were completely incapable of thinking about anything besides yourself," I laughed and he growled playfully, pulling me closer so my head was on his shoulder.

"Both you and I know that's not true. I am completely incapable of thinking of anything beside _you_ and me," he kissed me ear and I shook my head, chuckling softly to myself.

"So you were saying that Jael and Sirius got you thinking," I encouraged and another, more soft, smile flickered onto his face and I watched this bewildered. What had made him so happy?

I reluctantly let him pull away but grabbed his hand quickly as to prevent him from getting too far. "Well I can't say it here with all these people. It would ruin it! Come with me," he pulled me gently through the crowds, sometimes stopping as people turned to congratulate us.

He pulled me to the edge of the forest and I looked into it confused. "Why are we here James?" I asked. We hadn't been in the woods in years now because we had completely no reason to ever come.

"Don't question Lils. Just come," he laughed, pulling me inside and as we walked things became familiar and I realized where we were going to.

I didn't say anything though until we reached the small creek and the tall majestic trees. This was the place I had promised him forever and I still wasn't thinking of ever breaking that. This time there was no snow and the sun shone through the branches and there were flowers lots of flowers and to my surprise lilies.

He saw me looking over at a bunch of lilies by the creek and strode over to pick one for me. "I planted them here... for you."

"James I... don't know what to say," I was definitely speechless and I stared at him with wordless affection but he didn't need words and I knew that.

"You don't need to say anything. Let me do the talking," he grinned and I sat down on the ground noiselessly letting him continues without an argument or even a word of encouragement.

"Lily I don't know if this is sudden and completely uncalled for. I want to spend forever with you and from what I understand you feel the same way. I love you and that's the reason for everything I've done since I've come to Hogwarts. It was the reason I pulled your hair in first year and the reason I asked you out everyday from year 3. It was the reason in year 5 I took the blame when you hit me with stupefy and hid me in the broom cupboard and the reason I told every guy in Hogwarts that if he lay a finger on you I would shove my wand up an uncomfortable place.

"I want to spend everyday with you for the rest of my life and I really hope you know that. You're most likely the only women in the world who can keep me in order and I'm most likely the only man in the world who can actually get you to pull a prank and laugh it off. We keep each other in check and Lily I wanted to know that maybe not soon but if someday you would take my hand in marriage," he finished and looked at me with a pleasant smile and a hopeful expression.

He dug in his robe and before I could speak opened up a box and pulled out a ring. "A promise ring. If you'll accept it?" He asked pulling it out of its case and placing it into his palm.

"James of course I'll accept," my tears were betraying my calm charade and I jumped up and walked to where he was standing; where he waiting.

He slid a gold ring with a diamond lily on it onto my finger and I nearly fainted with excitement when he leaned forward and touched his lips to mine in a soft, pleased kiss and I snaked my arms around his neck and pulled myself as close as our bodies would allow and I felt us both smiling into the kiss as we stood there in the middle of the sunny forest full of lilies for me.

Eventually we had to head back and we were both slightly disappointed that any alone time would not be possible for the rest of the night but I was excited and sad because I had to say goodbye to the people that had made my life what it was.

When we entered the party it was in full swing and everyone from the seventh year was in there laughing and crying. People were saying there goodbyes and some were starting new beginnings.

James nudged me and I looked up to see Remus Lupin sitting on the couch with Regina of all people talking quietly and staring intently at each other in there own private world and I grinned to myself. Regina and I were not friends and I doubted we could ever be but I was happy that she was finding herself a good future.

I left James' side to go sit with Jael, Mary and Alice who were sitting on a couch near the fire. When I arrived Jael moved over to give me room and I looked around at the crying girls and felt such affection that I was momentarily breathless.

"James gave me a promise ring," I showed Jael who shrieked loudly causing everyone to stare and examined, fussing over how expensive it looked and I smiled timidly at Alice and Mary who were watching with excited smiles.

"If only Frank was that romantic. His idea of romance is walking down to Hogsmeade to get a butter beer and discussing the dark arts," Alice shook her head grinning but I knew she loved him despite everything and I laughed.

"Lily Potter! That sounds really amazing," Jael cried and I sank back embarrassed when Regina turned to look at me surprised.

"I suppose," I muttered but I felt a surge of remorse that I'd be leaving my giddy best friend for an unknown period of time and I snuggled closer to her and place my head on my shoulder. She wrapped her arm around and my shoulders and rested her head on mine.

"Hello," a shy voice said from behind and I turned startled to see Regina standing there looking sheepishly at the four of us.

"Hi there," Mary said curtly, ignoring when we all shot her a look.

"Hi," Jael and I responded but Alice gave her a slight nod but nothing else to show she even knew she was there.

"I needed to speak to you," she turned to me and I gaped at her wondering what she could possibly want.

"Not without me," Jael said protectively and squeezed my shoulders. Regina nodded slowly and we told Alice and Mary to wait and followed the cautious Regina out the door.

"Lily I am so sorry," she started and I waited patiently as she mustered up more courage to speak. "I was such a jerk back then and I apologize for being such a bitch. I just couldn't imagine why any guy wouldn't want me and well James presented a challenge. It gave me no right to kiss James especially when I knew he loved you. I am so, so sorry," she had tears and with everyone crying I'd had enough and held up my hand.

"It's alright. We were all stupid and childish more than once at Hogwarts and I don't blame you for anything. You're forgiven," the words lifted something huge off my shoulders. I wasn't sure if I had indeed forgiven her but it felt great to know I had done something to help get something off her shoulders.

Jael followed me quietly back to where Mary and Alice were waiting expectantly and I gave them a small smiled before sitting back down on the couch beside Jael. We sat in silence before Mary spoke up.

"What happened?" She asked, no longer able to hide her curiosity. I looked down at my hands as I replied, "Someone was finally forgiven."

She could just think about that as I leaned back contentedly. I knew now that I was heading down the right path and leaving no bad memories behind here at Hogwarts for when my children would attend.

Jael grabbed my hand softly and gave it a gentle squeeze and from the corner of my eye I saw James walking toward me with a big bundle of roses and a huge smile.

I couldn't worry. Not now, not ever. It seemed selfish for someone as complete, as whole, as me to complain for everything she had.

**THE END**

_Oh how I dreaded finally writing those words. The epilogue might not satisfy some of you and I am really sorry. I am truly happy with it and I write for me and this epilogue was what made sense to me. _

_I only need 25 reviews to reach my goal and if everyone could help me out it would make me so happy._

_I feel so upset knowing I'm writing the final words of this story for it had been my haven these last months when I had nothing to turn to. You readers have been kind of like a haven in a way and I am truly excited to begin my next story._

_I appreciate every single review, alert and favorite you guys gave me and they truly made my day. _

_I told you the epilogue wouldn't be too long and again I'll apologize for that but I just couldn't drag it on._

_So for my final story words: Thank you so much for everything._


	17. A Note

Hi everyone,

Wow, I feel awkward posting after all this time. I wanted to let everyone know that I'm still alive and I will start writing again. I have the first chapter finished of A Diary of a Woman Most Likely to Go Insane. The problem is that I keep picking it apart and finding problems. I also want to get a few more chapters written before I post it so that I have a head start.

It would be greatly appreciated if I could just get your guys feedback on if I should even write the story anymore (I mean Diary of a Woman). Is it worth it? Will anyone even read it?

I know it sounds stupid but I've actually missed talking to all my readers and the thrill of even getting the chapters on but gosh I have been so busy all summer I actually need to plan ahead when I'm going to write which doesn't work very well for me.

I hope even just a few readers stuck by me but I wouldn't be surprised if you didn't.

My biggest apologies,

Meghan


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